Episode #31: How To NOT Be Addicted to Busy

The Fast-Track Woman Podcast: Episode #31
How To NOT Be Addicted to Busy with Heather Chauvin

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 Meet Podcast Guest, Heather Chauvin.

Heather Chauvin is a leadership coach and strategic parenting expert who helps ambitious women become leaders at work and home.

Drawing from her professional experience as a social worker and her life experience raising three boys, Heather created a signature approach to focus her clients on sustainability, profitability and ease in business and life.

She is the host of the Mom Is In Control Podcast where she reveals her most vulnerable truths about womanhood, marriage, parenting, living through stage 4 cancer and running a successful business—without burning out.

Heather has been featured as a TEDx speaker and on The OWN Network, CTV, and The Jenny McCarthy Show. She has also appeared in Entrepreneur and Real Simple.

When Heather isn’t being a classic Canadian by driving her boys to hockey practice, you’ll find her curled up on the couch with her husband surfing the internet, researching their next family adventure.

 About this Podcast Episode.

Terra Bohlmann interviews Heather Chauvin, podcast host of Mom Is In Control, Leadership Coach, and Strategic Parenting Expert. Heather shares her wake up call of being too busy. You'll learn how to recognize when your boundaries are being invaded and why standing up for yourself is the best thing you can do to serve your customers, be a great parent, and partner. If you struggle with overwhelm and feel being busy is a normal way to live, you'll love this podcast episode because your life is about to change for the better.

 Resources, Tools, and Links Mentioned in this Episode.

 Read and Download the Transcript for this Episode.

Announcer (00:02):
Welcome to the fast track entrepreneur podcast with your host Terra Bohlmann. You are about to get filled with business strategies, advice, and motivation to get you prepared to fast track your five year plan in less than one year. So buckle up and let's create your first class business with clarity and confidence.

Terra Bohlmann (00:28):
Okay, welcome back to the fast track entrepreneur podcast. I'm your host, Terra Bohlmann and I am thrilled to have today's guest. She is a powerhouse who I've met and we're in a mutual mastermind together and she has just been not just an amazing leader and really like stuffed up and and also helps so many other people in the mastermind, but she's became a great friend as well. And I think you are going to love her story and her insight on how we as women entrepreneurs get addicted to being busy. So let me introduce her and then I'll bring her on. So Heather Chauvin is a leadership coach and strategic parenting expert who helps ambitious women become leaders at work and home. Drawing from her professional experience as a social worker and her life experience raising three boys, Heather has created a signature approach to focus her clients on sustainability, profitability, and ease in business and life.

Terra Bohlmann (01:30):
She's the host of a podcast as well, called moms in control podcast where she reveals her most vulnerable truths about womanhood, marriage, parenting, living through stage four cancer and running a successful business all without burning out. Heather's been featured as a TEDx speaker and on the own network, CTV and the Jenny McCarthy show. She's also appeared an entrepreneur and real simple when Heather isn't being a classic Canadian by driving her boys to hockey practice, you'll find her curled up on the couch with her husband surfing the internet, researching their next family adventure. So please join me in welcoming my dear friend Heather. How are you? I am so excited. I love these conversations, especially when you already know the person then you can create. I'm just excited. I know. It's literally like, and that's what people say when they listen to the podcast, that they're just sitting on a couch listening to their friends talk.

Terra Bohlmann (02:31):
And that's exactly how I, I love how this podcast is produced because it's real talk. And even with you it's like next level because Heather does not hold back and anything she shares. So today we're going to talk about the idea around women feeling ridiculously busy and this is something she's studied at like crazy. It's something, you know, I a lot of my clients struggle with as well. And I do too. I remember, I remember I had one of my photo shoots, I did it had this, I had this like little like pouch, you know, like a pencil pouch and it said I'm too busy. And I remember thinking it was like the cutest thing in the world and I was wearing busy as a badge of honor and I wanted it to be in one of the flat lay photography. I was holding it like it. And then once I realized busy is not a badge of honor, I like, I couldn't even donate the thing because I felt like I was passing that curse on to someone else. I throw it away, totally throw it away. I didn't want that in the universe anymore. So. So tell us, so what's been your experience and the whole idea of, of women wearing

Heather Chauvin (03:40):
Busy as a badge of honor? Well, I have like I've gone to the bookstore and I would see that on a journal and then I get severely triggered by the mom calendars. So it's actually branded as the mom calendar. And I had a friend who wanted to get them every year and I was like, it drives me nuts. Like why is it the female responsibility? And I think like this, that's like such a deep conversation to have. But to back it up a little bit, I, I like when you pair ambition and female entrepreneurship and women in general, like I truly believe we are bred and raised to move mountains and you know, traditionally leadership roles, it's not, it's typically not females that you see. It's always, there's that quote of like from every like successful man, there's like a woman,

Terra Bohlmann (04:38):
I'm doing all the work or something like that. Oh yeah. There's behind every successful man is a, a woman helped, you know, doing, making it happen, making it happen. Yeah. I am for

Heather Chauvin (04:50):
Male and female, but what I am truly for is women feeling alive. So back in the day, when I say back in the day, so I've been running my business for about 10 years. I went right from university, so I, I came out of the womb like a hundred years old. I'm like severely old soul. I had my son, my oldest when I was 18 and I just had this mentality previous to having him, I was like, eh, life sucks, whatever. I had him and my first thought was my son. Like, I will not become a statistic and I need to become the person that I most desire him to be. And I had no intentions of becoming a business owner. So I went to university. I didn't want to go. I didn't think I could go to university, but I thought if I can have a, you know, a child at 18 I can make things happen.

Heather Chauvin (05:42):
Went to university for social work, got a social work job and my whole body Terra was like, not this, not this, not this. Like I love helping people to a fault. I, I absolutely love, love, like supporting humanity. But I was in a system and I was like, there is no way I can do this for 30 years. And that was when I discovered that I was a leader and I still didn't identify with that terminology. So here I am and I kept like using my voice, right, of like, why are you doing it this way? You're just putting a bandaid on it. And like I didn't realize that. I thought everyone was like this. Why are you guys okay with this? Why are you okay being living a mediocre life? Things sucking and saying, well that's the way it is. So I was experiencing a lot of behavioral issues with my son at the time, and I was, I had access to all of the resources, like the mental health experts, the doctors I was, I was educated in mental health.

Heather Chauvin (06:47):
And then I thought, Oh my gosh, if I am here and I still don't know what I'm doing, there's something off. So of course I kept digging and digging and digging. That is why I started my business. So my business started with me teaching mindfulness and meditation to other children because that's what really supported our growth. So I'm working in like the busy be right built, you know, having the kids and Terra, I'm getting that badge of honor, the slap on the back, Heather, you are super woman. Look at you, you're young, you're ambitious, you're go, go, go. You have these babies, they're, you know, they're, you're breastfeeding them and doing all these things. So I'm like, okay, I must be doing something right. But deep down inside there's this little tiny voice that was like, not this, not this. Like, Heather, you're not happy.

Heather Chauvin (07:38):
You're kind of becoming depressed. You don't know how to feed yourself. You're very angry behind closed doors and you do not feel successful. You feel like you're failing as a human. And but yet on the outside people are like, good job, good job. So I felt alone, I felt isolated. I would go to therapy and talk about my problems and she was like, yeah, Oh, you're so ambitious. Like you'll do fine. And she'd reflect back and we go into past trauma and I'm like, okay, I'm not getting anywhere. This is driving me nuts. So fast forward, I'm starting to get into personal development. I leave my corporate job as a social worker, jump into the online world as a coach, have to work through all of that mindset stuff, right? The money mindset of not charging dollar per hour anymore. And so I'm just unlearning everything I've been taught as a frontline social worker.

Heather Chauvin (08:38):
And what you're taught is sacrifice yourself, your soul, your mind, body, spirit, give, give, give, give, give. And then when people require more of you or give you death threats, like that's just your job except it. And I was like, what is going on? Right. So I'm doing all these things. I'm building my online business, I'm investing in myself. Like Terra, check off the boxes, my marriage, I'm married babies, everything. Okay. No money in the bank by the way because quote unquote building a business. So you don't go into social work for the money, like nobody does that. Exactly. Exactly. And like you're greedy, you're greedy if you want to be able to pay your own bills of dare you and maybe buy yourself some new underwear. So while I'm building my business, I'm learning, I'm actually learning that it is healthy to make money.

Heather Chauvin (09:29):
It's all of these things and I'm getting the resistance and pushback from my industry. So I'm hustling and when I say hustling, I won an Olympic gold medal. Okay. I would open my laptop first sign. Mind you, I wake up because I'm, I have severe anxiety because my middle son at the time was like a wrecking ball. And the second I hear him up I was like, and just my body goes into fight or flight. So open my laptop. I'm just working, working, working, working driven mostly by fear. The fear of not being able to pay our bills, the fear of there's no way I can go back to that other job. I'm too young. I got to figure my life out. I have like a lot of time in front of me in my life to figure this out. So I'm hustling all of a sudden, this is six years ago now.

Heather Chauvin (10:21):
My abdomen is swollen. I'm your air quotes. Regular size woman have never been labeled as obese in my life. So why would I need to work out again, women being brainwashed that if you're quote unquote skinny, you're healthy. And I've never been taught that movement. Exercise is a form of mental health. It's a coping like it's healthy for you. We've always just been taught as women that moving your body means you need to look different or better. Right? And so here I am swollen abdomen and my first thought is I do not have time to figure this out. I don't have time and figure out my own health like that. Figure out my grandma and I'm getting this feedback from even the physicians like everybody in my life, you're busy, you don't have time. It'll get better. Heather, chronic fatigue, that's normal for mothers and and you run a business.

Heather Chauvin (11:24):
Oh, that is normal. So fast forward, go to the emergency room with my husband. I left the first time because I believed I was not worthy of being in that room. I was not sick enough. Okay. Talk about projecting your inner belief system. Right? Go back with my husband on the spot. They do a CT of my abdomen and blood work. Come back in the room and say, Heather, you have cancer. We just don't know what kind it is. And Terra, I knew talk about that female innate desire underneath it all. That's like that knowing I was like, this is confirmation that I've been running from, this was my honest truth. Wow. So I thought, okay, I'm young, whatever. People get cancer, so let's do biopsy, blah blah, blah. Stage four. At the time I was like, Hmm, there's no stage five. I believe there is now.

Heather Chauvin (12:28):
I don't think there was then or maybe there was, but I was like, there's no, there's no stage after stage four. Yeah. So it was a stage four Burkitt's lymphoma tumors growing rapidly in my abdomen. And by the time I took action to when I was diagnosed to when I started traditional treatment was probably a month. I went from maybe looking four months pregnant to nine months pregnant with the app, with the tumors. People were asking me like, when are you due? And I was like, Oh my, you want to put your foot in your mouth? So I would make up things like I started telling people I was pregnant just because they didn't want to make them feel bad. And there's that typical woman like you feel bad. Yeah, you're, I am dying. And I'm like, I don't want to make you feel bad, so I'm going to make up that I'm pregnant.

Heather Chauvin (13:18):
That's awful. Awful. So I, this is where the whole addiction too busy comes in and my whole life stopped every, I had to completely surrender. And every single thing that I was so fearful of, you know, nobody can take care of my children the way I do. They, you know, they could never eat Mac and cheese. Like what if somebody else puts like unmatching clothes on them? Like I'm the only one who can love them the way that they need to be loved, right? My business is going to fall apart. It won't run without me. It wasn't, my whole life was not sustainable. And so I ha everything was breaking down around me. And of course I was afraid. But there's, what I noticed is people, and we're recording this during like the pandemic, right? So we're all in isolation and I noticed there's two types of people, actually kind of three.

Heather Chauvin (14:13):
When our primal brain goes into crisis, there's the fight, flight or freeze. So you're going to fight and you're just going to like rise above. You might get angry, you might be a little reactive, but you're going to rise above, you're going to flight, you're going to run away and hide and you're just going to put your head in the sand and avoid all of your triggers and everything that's uncomfortable. And the freezing is, I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I don't know what to do. So I went through all of those phases intertwined, but I had this core belief of the fear of dying because I didn't want my children to not have a mother. They were still young. They were like my youngest was a year old at the time. They were like nine, five, and one. And I remember having this moment on the bathroom floor and I was like paralyzed in fear.

Heather Chauvin (15:09):
And again, the woman issue, a woman thing to do was I was holding in my tears because I didn't want to wake anybody in the house. Right? And I was crying and I'm like, I'm so afraid I'm going to die. I'm so afraid I'm going to die. And then Terra, this voice came in and it was like, you are not afraid of dying, Heather. You have no idea how to feel alive. And that was a game changer for me. That moment changed the trajectory of how I live my life today, how I run my business, how I parent every aspect of my life. And I have never turned back.

Terra Bohlmann (15:57):
That's an amazing, I mean, you know, to experience that and, and knowing you now I know you can't say, Oh that happened to me getting cancer that happened to me. It happened for you right now you're woke right? And now you can take that experience and share it with and use it to serve and fuel you so that you can help all these other women that you know, your mentor to help as well. So thank you so much for sharing that. I've, you know, I hadn't heard your full story. So yeah, I can't imagine. And it makes everything with the pandemic be like, you know, like, I mean, I guess let me ask you that. Like, how does, you know, going through something like this where a lot of women are feeling fear around their business in times, like, you know, some are hustling harder and some are going inward and what you had said, what is it you fight, flight or freeze.

Terra Bohlmann (16:52):
I love that. And it's like I've probably subconsciously been watching whether it's other leaders and brands and companies, what they're doing during the pandemic. Some are fighting, you know, and remessaging and getting out there and being the solution and whatever and being visible. Others are just hiding like, okay, maybe if we don't say anything and we don't make big deal about it, no one's gonna ask for refunds and blah, blah, blah. And then the other ones are maybe frozen. They don't know what to do. And that to me speaks volumes about the brands, companies, leaders that I'm going to follow out of this as well. So I, I think that's been really interesting. What's been your take on using that framework, fight, flight, or freeze and what's happening today?

Heather Chauvin (17:40):
So this has been interesting because when it first happened, I went into crisis intervention mode for people and I literally pulling out my social worker and was like, okay guys, what do we need? Right? Like getting on the phone with all my clients and I'm like, how are you doing? What do you need? And people were just doing the motions. Right? It was interesting because most of my clients would say, I am so grateful that I am doing the work that you have taught me. I can now see that it is worked. So because of what I teach people, it was kind of like I was preparing them for this moment. So my clients were pretty much all good. And then I went into my community. So the people who listened to my podcast you know, some other like groups that I have or just people who watched me on Instagram and was like, what do you need?

Heather Chauvin (18:31):
And so at first we did a little, like I was talking about EFT and tapping and like how to calm down your nervous system. And then I had this moment where I was like, I'm done. I am done coming in and putting a bandaid solutions on people who are unwilling to manage their own emotions on this. And not only that, I was showing up every day at noon to do this EFT tapping thing for like a week or so. And I had the same people showing up and I was all, I was good with it, but I thought, this is not sustainable. This is them creating a codependency on me at noon, Eastern standard time every day for me to calm them down. Gotcha. And this is a core thing that I teach people, which is boundaries and emotional and energetic independence. Like when people are done working with me, I do not want you to feel out of control.

Heather Chauvin (19:31):
We feel hence the reason why my podcast is called mom is in control. Your life will feel out of control. The point is you know what to do to get back on track with your tools and strategies and the inner awareness and knowledge that you have taken responsibility for including your business. So it's a co-creation. So then I stopped and I went in hiding a little bit probably for about a week or so. And I got very crystal clear on Heather. What do you take a stand for? What do you, I have a child literally opening my office door right next. Okay. Mine just came and I was doing the same like, yeah, I'm like, I'll be with you in a minute. I'm like, it's like there's throwing the thing over there, still not getting it and he's the oldest. This is hilarious to me.

Heather Chauvin (20:22):
So we're going to have a discussion about this. Please close the door. Thank you. Boundary boundaries. Even with the babies, this always happens. I've actually done this on multiple recordings where Mike teaching women how to implement boundaries and then like there you go. Implementing it down. Let me demonstrate. Yeah, I will be with you in a minute. Yeah, no, I totally get it hiding. And I was like, who do I, so this is like a key word for people. Who do I want to be? How do I want to be remembered during this time? And this is like the bigger question of life. How do I want my children to remember me and during this time I'm like how do I want my children to remember this experience? I'm going to tell you right now we have hard days and I actually don't even like using the word heart.

Heather Chauvin (21:17):
I say uncomfortable because to me it's uncomfortable and we have to feel our feelings. So then I was like okay Heather, you teach people how to take ownership for their life, financially, time, energy, all of this teach it. So then now as we're recording this I teach in like a live mini course that I do free, right? So I'm like here being of service to you listen to the podcast and then I am reminding myself because I know guilt is a big thing that comes up for women. Heather, you are doing enough use that. That's good. Yeah, exactly. I'm like you were being of service on the podcast. You are giving free value, Heather, you are doing enough. And by you managing your own energy and making sure that you are full, you are nourished, you are whatever you are enough. And I have to remind myself that probably a hundred times a day because I know what the contrast is.

Heather Chauvin (22:23):
The contrast is yelling, screaming at my family, no money in the bank. Disconnect in our relationship, angry with my husband feeling depleted in my body, health, you know, trauma, health stressors coming out. So, and trust me, I've had to learn this lesson many, many times and I still do. But I've had to come back, come back again and again and again and again. And I've personally upped my personal self care game during this time. Yeah, I used to go to the gym a lot, like, well, try to do it three to five times a week. And now that everything is virtual, I am now sticking to a morning yoga class that I hate doing by the way. But I feel amazing after, right? But I asked myself, what am I craving? And it's like the slower pace. But the discipline and the quality.

Heather Chauvin (23:28):
So I was like, what's not serving you? Ok. Get rid of it. I'm like, okay, I'm putting that. Here's another one. I'm putting that gym membership on hold cause they even had online classes but I wasn't attending them because I was craving the yoga. So and I wasn't being held accountable cause it was like, it wasn't one-on-one where the yoga is kind of, I have a relationship to the person who's teaching it. She's like, where are you today? So I'm like, it's not serving you just let it go. Right. There was a part of me that wanted to hold on to it to like people please to like, Oh I feel bad for him. So I've really just gotten rid of what's not serving me right now. Hone down on what is and this, I put a post up yesterday on Instagram. This was the marathon I've been training for. Ah, this is the mental marathon. Like get your shit together, follow through, work through the mental resistance. I'm not worried financially. I'm so grateful for cancer. Six years ago. It taught me the biggest money lesson of my life and I'm like, we're good. We're good. It is amazing what happens when you show up.

Terra Bohlmann (24:46):
Absolutely. For yourself. I mean, and I'm, I'm the same way and I think it's really interesting that someone's writing a Harley right through my neighborhood. All right. I can hear it. Oh, you can hear it. Oh, it was like vibrating my office. But yeah. For me it was the same type of thing. Like when you had first said, did you fight the ju, you know, flight or did you, what's the third one? Freeze. Initially for me, I like, I reached out to my clients as well. Like I felt that was important to, you know, do a pulse check with them and you need to check in. This is a great time to over-serve. Right. You know, that's, that's easy. That's my comfort zone. My fighting became, I was tired of these other whatever, influencer slash leaders telling me how to feel and what to do and that I should be out doing the hustle and that I should lead the dah, dah, dah.

Terra Bohlmann (25:36):
And I'm like, wait a minute. Like, so I went inward and I just had to get really clear on kind of my change of strategy going forward like everyone else before I could then come out and do my service. So I think we're very similar in the sense of like when we feel that we just get into service but not at a point where we're going to deplete. Like we, you have to know that boundary. And I think this is the biggest lesson from this podcast is if you're not in touch with that boundary and that feeling in your gut of when you start to cross over into that depletion mode, you have to be able to figure that out. Like that needs to be your number one thing. Because second you feel an ounce of anger, resentment. You stop and you're like, that's a symptom. That's the sign. Because you couldn't give, it's like giving anything

Heather Chauvin (26:23):
And you're like, Oh, given a hundred dollars no big deal. Right, right. Might be a lot for somebody give a thousand dollars and you're like, it just depends. Like you, it's such a personal thing. And you have to the second year on that edge, you're like, boop, stop, turn back. And it's okay to have boundaries.

Terra Bohlmann (26:40):
No, absolutely. And like you, it was, you know, was in busy instead of doing social work, I did the, I went into computer science during YCK because it paid so well. And my logic was, cause I was the first one to go to college in my family and it was like, if I'm going to go and pay for all this college stuff, like I might as well make it count and make the most money I can and then climb that ladder quickly. So it was like, okay, go, go, go and then start the business. I didn't know any different. So I'm like, go, go, go. People would come up and go, how do you do it all? How do you balance? Like you're like, like, and I did, I would puff up like that's all I know, right? Like, Oh yeah, there was that badge of honor and busy and, and it wasn't until you have those moments.

Terra Bohlmann (27:23):
And for me, mine was you know, I really was resistant to being a coach. Like I was like, I left the corporate world and I was a consultant and you know, people were like, what are you going to do next? I'm like, well, I just wanna help women entrepreneurs scale their business, get really clear on a plan and go and in a way that's affordable. Oh, so you wanna be a coach? I'm like, no, I don't even know what that is like. And so I was real resistant to it until finally I was like, Oh, I guess that's what it is. So, you know, I've worked with a coach and it was like, okay, you want a six figure business. Okay. That was the plan. Getting to six figures wasn't getting me a replacement in my previous salary. I needed to make triple that right to cover costs, expenses, taxes, whatever.

Terra Bohlmann (28:05):
And so off I went until, okay, I needed 30 clients a month one-on-one. I did high volume, low price hustle, hustle, hustle would get that. Two people would come on, three would roll off. I'd have to get three neck. Like it was this constant up and down exhaustion of, and I was sales coaching at the time and I was like I can't, I just can't, like their, their energy of lack was killing me. So I was like this can't be what it was. This can't be the ultimate business. Right. So I was about ready to just say forget it and go back to the corporate world cause it felt easy. I would at least get two weeks paid vacation. Right. So I was like, but then I went on a trip and came back and it was like, I just need to rethink this. I need to do it in a way, like you said, if you find yourself feeling depleted and you're not doing the self care that you need and the things that you need to do, you know, the best advice I could give.

Terra Bohlmann (29:01):
And then I want to hear what Heather has before we wrap up, but is you have to get in touch with that perfect feeling that only you can do. Like, I remember getting angry when people would say work life balance doesn't exist. It's not. And I'm like, it exists, but it's different for everyone. Like I know mine and I have to work to get it back into my quote, quote, balance where someone else's is totally different. Right? And you just have to know that. And that should be like your top priority is to know that feeling of, you know, Oh yeah, I'm starting to go too much this side where my kids are being ignored. Right? Oh, okay. I'm going too much of this, this side where I'm too in it and I'm ignoring my business purpose or right. You got to know that balance and get back on track. So you got to know the gut and if you don't know how to do that, then that's when you have to work with someone like Heather to figure that out. Cause that will serve you as a North star for the rest of your life. So that's what comes to mind for me. What best advice do you have before we wrap up on what women need to do when they're, they're wearing busy too much.

Heather Chauvin (30:12):
So I love like even this whole conversation, the first part about like, I agree balanced does not exist. Like the way that they say it, it's like the equal balance but also people are asking like, tell me how to do everything that you do. And what they're not saying is like every single client or person that asks me that. Like I do dislike that question one, they will never ask my husband that question. They only ask women these questions and if you ask a man this question, like it's, you're, you are literally like a trailblazer asking those questions to men. So I've had to unlearn a lot of who I need to be as a woman because I, I cook, I barely cleaned my house. Like my oldest son is 15. There's no reason why I still need to do his laundry. My husband used to work a nine to five and then actually left his nine to five and now works within my company.

Heather Chauvin (31:19):
And so he has taken on a lot of domestic roles or we outsource it and man, I cannot tell you the beliefs that I've had to let go of and the discomfort and guilt I've had to sit in because people are like, how do you do your dishes and your laundry? And I'm like, I can't tell you the last time I've actually done laundry or dishes. Like I'll do my own dishes. But usually I'm like, okay kids who's doing cleanup today because mom and dad cooked for you. Like it's, it's a family team effort here. And so that in itself is not like, I don't have any quick tips for people. You need to rewire your brain. Also, another thing about alignment, like what do you want, do you want to stay, be a stay at home mom and just have a side hustle that pays for groceries in his honor that like there is no competition here.

Heather Chauvin (32:10):
Do you want to build an empire? Please honor that. Like what do you want? And I think this is what I've noticed is women go, I'm not happy in my job, therefore I need to leave my job and build the business. But I'm like, you're going to bring your baggage from that life into your new life. And so I'm always asking, how do you want to feel? How do you want to feel? And I want to feel connected. I want to feel myself and others. So something as simple as how I communicate to my son. Like please, I'm on a recording, like close the door and if he won't, you know, continued use pushing my boundary or button. I know I've already made a little mental note that after this conversation I am returning to him and saying, let's talk about what just happened there.

Heather Chauvin (33:01):
Right? And I'm doing it in a respectful way and asking like, what's going on? Because I w vice versa. Like if he's on a call with somebody, I'm not going to bust in and be like, Hey, I need you right now. It's like this mutual respect that we're going to have for each other. Right? So how do you want to feel in your life? And then reverse engineering that and spilling it and everything. And one last thing I want to say, when you were mentioning when you started your business and you were like hustling one-on-one, do that, right? Like we need to do that. And then when you get that little sign like you did of this is not sustainable. Like we need to start somewhere. I'm like, ladies, please go coach, please go do what I do. Or whatever you want to do. Like in your own way.

Heather Chauvin (33:50):
Yeah, because you're more affordable than if somebody had one on one coaching with me. So let them work with you. And after you get five clients, if you're like, this is too much, you up your price, right? Or you change your business model. So the second you become angry or resentful towards your clients, I would never want to be your client if you were projecting anger and resentment onto me. Right? So this is when I'm in this space or when a client is in this space and like listen, it is the most unselfish thing you can do to take better care of yourself, to up your price, to change your business model because you can be of service so much better. And I don't know why. I have no idea why we are conditioned to believe cheaper price equals better because I've tried that and those people are not committed.

Heather Chauvin (34:46):
And even if I'm like, okay, that's all you can afford, come on in and work with me. They are not where they need to be in order for me to be able to coach them successfully. So I always say go listen to the podcast, go do this freebie. And if they're like, I just can't, I just can't. Like you can't follow through on that. You are not going to be able to follow through on a one on one call with me because I'm going to trigger you so much that you're just going to freeze and hide. So it's really about embodying who you want to be and getting really uncomfortable while you're taking those actions. Cause that's where I live at. I was like, preach, preach, preach. Because it's so true. I did the low cost, high volume thinking. I never want a woman to not feel like they can't work with me because they can't afford it or whatever. And the minute I let

Terra Bohlmann (35:38):
Go of that got really clear and then did actually raise my prices. I got a different level of woman that was committed, not just to me. I mean you're committing to yourself, right? And then your value, your internal value goes up. And the same way I would say for any woman who wants to sell her offers for 25,000 or people ask that all the time, I'm sure you get it too. It was like how do you do that? How do you have a mastermind that costs X and whatever? And it's like, well I've invested in myself at that level. Right? So it's like, and you just start with a thousand totally keeps going. Your energetic capacity keeps changing. Like I won't show up for, if somebody would have told me, you know, 10 years ago that I would be having a mastermind or invest in a mastermind that's $20,000 I said, you're crazy.

Terra Bohlmann (36:30):
I don't even make that in a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I'm like, Oh, that's a good deal. Yeah, I know. Is that not crazy? I've done that before. We're like, Oh my God, that's a good deal. They need to up their price. Right. You're like, let me get in now before they figure out their value. Yeah, and it's, I mean, to me the best advice I had gotten about, you know, I was working with a health coach was your clients pay you to be healthy and to show up for them. And I love the trigger that Heather posts. Dang, that's a good one. Yeah. Yeah. Use it. Because it's one of those things that when she said, when you start to feel that resentment and that pole, your clients are going to fill that and they're going to turn around and like it's not going to be good and you're not showing up to serve them at all either.

Terra Bohlmann (37:14):
So yeah. Perfect. So let me ask you, how can people get in touch with you? Like where, you know, where can they learn more about Heather and you know, maybe, you know, get some information. Maybe tell us about your podcast. So I actually have two podcasts now. The first, okay, so mom is in control. No ass on mom. That's a pornography site. So mom is in control, you can find it on iTunes. And then I actually just launched, mom is in control business. So the reason why I did that is because I am very passionate about, you know, mindset, relationships, all of that. So I'm having that conversation on mom is in control and then business is just this inner like freedom, this leadership and showing out. So I believe it's all the same anyways. But yeah, those are the two podcasts. You can find them anywhere you listen to podcasts.

Terra Bohlmann (38:11):
I have a free mini course on my website, so it's my name, HeatherChauvin.com last name spelled C. H. A. U. V. I. N. It's called get out of your own way and go do it nicely. And resources, PDFs, and you just, you gotta show up. You got to show up for yourself and, and we'll put all this in the podcast show notes and whatnot. So if you're driving, you just go to, you know, TerraBohlmann.com/podcast you'll find all these resources that Heather's talking about. And, but I agree, like, I think you had said something around, you know, if you can't show up at this capacity, you're not going to be able to show up when you're working with me. For me, if I get that, and I don't know if someone is the right fit and remember that in sales, right? It's also, it's not just about, Oh, I hope they choose me.

Terra Bohlmann (39:00):
It's, it has to be a two way street. Like do I want to also invest in this person even though they're paying me, I'm giving them energy and time and worrying about them sometimes at two in the morning. And so it's like you want it to be a good match and so if I don't know, I give them a task to do. I'll say, Hey go do this before I ever give them an offer and cause I want to see if they do it. And I have done that and there's been people who like absolutely overachieve with it. I know they're going to do the work because I'm only interested in working with people like you who are going to do the work. It doesn't feel good to take anyone's money if I just heard this exact same experience, there was somebody that I was going to work with like I was going to give money to and they gave me like this long ass intake form that was like not electronic.

Terra Bohlmann (39:47):
I was like, their systems are awful. Oh my God, I just want to control this right now. And I was like, Heather, they're testing you. Like, it's, it's like an intense program. I'm like, okay Heather, do what they're asking you to do. You were not their business coach. Right. So I was, I just asked for a few clarifying questions like how, and I was like, their onboarding process is shit, but I guarantee you this is a test is a pretty intense process. I'm like, Heather, are you willing to do the work or are you going to use the excuse that they have shitty systems and stuff? Totally. Or for a year not going to work with them. Right. Because you love the person, you just don't like the system. So it's been interesting to watch. That's a good perspective to look at it. Cause I am judgy.

Terra Bohlmann (40:34):
Like if I go into a restaurant and like their operations are just not, I'm like the, I do, I switch into like whatever mode and I've done that before and even in some of the high end programs that I've invested in, it's like, it also makes me realize at even way more than I charge, you know, I'm all proud of my automated systems and yada yada yada. I can't believe I just said yada, yada, yada. And it's like sometimes it's so simple, like here's a Google doc of what you get. And I'm like, cool, like why am I over complicated? Oh man, I'm actually embarrassed of what my PDFs look like. I like doing all of them and I'm like, it's the content. It is stepping into who you want to be. Like community, the energy of the community, the level of that. When you own who you want to be and who you want to surround yourself with, who cares how the website is and the PDFs as wrong as the service, like the person replies to your emails, you get what you need.

Terra Bohlmann (41:42):
You know, there's always room for improvement. And this is where like the perfectionism comes away. We could talk forever and [inaudible] was so good. Well, before I wrap up, I asked all my podcast guests this question. So you've had like, your life has been pretty remarkable and you know, we, I think in Canada they have lifetime movies, right? The lifetime channel and like if your life was going to be put into a movie, right? So picture though, you know the story of Heather, like it's a movie. Who, what actress would play you? Oh man. I know from the spot, I know her name, but everyone says I look like her and she's funny. Oh my God. Give me some context. Like what is she, what is her name? I can't even tell you which one, which, you know what? I love Sharon. Charlene. Doris.

Terra Bohlmann (42:38):
They're on, they're on. Yeah. I love her. I think she's fabulous. I feel like she can, she's very diverse, man. I wish I knew her name. She was on Saturday night live. She has like blonde hair. Hilarious. I'm going to send you her name after. Yeah. Not not the Kristen Wiig. Not her. Right? Like I think she was on bridesmaid. Yes. Yeah. Hilarious. Okay. Yeah. So one of my family mass, both of them together. That's who plays you got it. Yeah. The before and after. Yeah. That's really cool. No, I love that. That's awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for pouring in and sharing your story and being an inspiration to women. I have no doubt that you know, the next generation of international leaders are rising. And I know that's going to be you as well. So thank you. Thank you.

Terra Bohlmann (43:31):
And enjoy and go have your talk with your, with your son. Cause I know it's all about giving that constructive feedback right there at the time. And then I don't think he'll ever knock on the door again. So it's always reinstating or boundaries. My son was coming in with my, my iPad that he's stolen to work on, you know, do his homework and wrote on my notebook. Does cooking class at the neighbor's count for a documentary cause I have a checklist and he's holding it above my, you know, computer and I'm like do you not see I'm ignoring you. And he was patiently just waiting there. So I mean I need to go have a talk with mine too. So bottom line, it's all it is, you know, it's all a joy of being a mom and an entrepreneur. So take care and thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Alright, bye. Bye.

Announcer (44:23):
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