Episode #83: Navigating Difficult Conversations in Your Business with Linda Welch
The Fast-Track Woman Podcast: Episode #83
Navigating Difficult Conversations in Your Business with Linda Welch
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Meet Podcast Guest, Linda Welch.
Linda and Sarah are a Boomer mother and a Millennial daughter, who empower women to take compassionate stands for themselves within their relationships.. They are passionate about teaching women to know themselves and connect with what they want from the people in their lives.
Linda has a Masters of Divinity and a history in counseling and education. She has a laser focused ability to determine hidden potential and help clients grow to reach it. With a heart full of love, she works with women to help them relinquish their hold on fear-based thoughts and habits, so they can mature into who they want to be.
Sarah has always been on a journey of personal growth. She’s had the experience of being adopted, living in a blended family, having her parents divorce, and then being alienated by part of her family because of decisions she made. Through that, she not only learned to survive, she learned to thrive. She has a BA in Creative Writing and Sociology which she uses to bring a fresh perspective to conflict resolution with a light and easy approach.
About this Podcast Episode.
In this epsiode, Terra Bohlmann interviews Linda Welch. relationship and communication expert. Linda shares her strategies on how to navigate difficult conversations, why women shy away from sales conversations, and what to do instead. Linda has a Masters of Divinity and a history in counseling and education. She has a laser focused ability to determine hidden potential and help others grow. With a heart full of love, she works with women to help them relinquish their hold on fear-based thoughts and habits, so they can mature into who they want to be. If you are ready to learn how to move from fear of sales into a love of sales using authentic relationships, you'll enjoy this episode.
Resources, Tools, and Links Mentioned in this Episode.
Read and Download the Transcript for this Episode.
Speaker 1 (00:01): When you give smart women a five-year plan, simple business strategies and a positive mindset. It's amazing how fast your business can grow. Welcome to the fast track woman podcast with your host and business strategist, terrible woman. She helps women business owners stop winging it and board the fast track to success. When she's not making high flying dreams, the reality you can find her traveling to random destinations, desperately tracking down Chanel, broaches, or sipping overpriced coffee drinks. Her purpose in life is to help you build a profitable first-class business, smooth out the bumpy ride, and finally have more time, energy and freedom. So buckle your seatbelt because this episode of the fast track woman takes off right now. Welcome back to the fast track woman podcast. I am your host,
Speaker 2 (00:59): Tara and I am so excited to share with you. Today's guest. She is somebody who I've known for years, and I probably have asked her to be on this podcast 500 times. And finally, she's like, yes, let's do it. And she's going to have some amazing information to share with you. So let me, let me introduce you to her. And they are a mother daughter team, and I'm going to have her daughter Sarah on a future podcast episode, because what they have to share is so good. We got to like hear it twice, but from different perspectives. So let me introduce you to Linda Linda and her daughter. Sarah are what we call a boomer mother and millennial daughter who pat empower women to take compassionate stands for themselves within their relationships, super important, right? They are passionate about teaching women to know themselves and connect with what they want from the people in their lives.
Speaker 2 (01:58): Linda has a masters of divinity and history and counseling and education. She has a laser-focused ability to determine hidden potential and help clients grow to reach it with a heart full of love. She works with women to help them relinquish their hold on fear-based thoughts and habits so that they can mature into who they want to be. And Sarah who we'll meet later, she has always been on a journey of personal growth. She hadn't had the experience of being adopted, living in a blended family, having her parents divorce and then being alienated by part of her family because of decisions she made through that. Not only has she learned to survive, she learned to thrive. She has a bachelor's of arts and creative writing and social sociology, where she uses to bring fresh perspective to conflict resolution with a light and easy approach. So on this podcast episode, please join me in welcoming Linda Welsh with let's get relational. How are you, Linda?
Speaker 3 (03:01): Awesome. It's so great to be here with you. I can't believe it's taken us this long to think this happened, but be here. Now
Speaker 2 (03:08): We had this whole thing called like the pandemic. It was just like what happened last year? I know it's absolutely crazy, but I am so thrilled to have you, and I know we're going to dig into some really good stuff. So in speaking to women entrepreneurs, one thing you're amazing at is the ability to navigate really challenging conversations. I remember when we first met, we were doing sales on a sales team together, and I was just blown away by your ability to really connect with someone who was really nervous to make a big, big buying decision and happened to like com really like coach her through that. And you did it with such ease and grace. So tell us the secrets behind that. Like when, when do you see especially in business women needing to have these challenging conversations and why do they tend to shy away from them?
Speaker 3 (04:05): Yeah, that's great. Women tend to be pretty conflict avoidant. That's one of the reasons they have such a challenge with sales. And so if you're conflict avoidant and you are afraid of hearing, no, it's very hard to take a strong stand for the person that you're talking with. Right. I know a lot of your listeners are women who have to do sales to make their businesses work. Right. And what I learned is to listen to, what's not said I read body language. I I pay attention to what the energy is. I pay a lot of attention to just how they're feeling, right? And I'm not afraid of any answer if their answer is truly no, and that's the right answer for them, then I don't have a problem with that. But that's because I did so much work for years on learning to deal with conflict and learning to deal with challenging conversations.
Speaker 3 (04:58): And women in business have to do with challenging conversations all the time, whether it's a client or a vendor or a spouse or a child, you know, we've got it on every level. And a lot of women are really good in one area in their life. But they really are not very good in other areas. And so part of what we do and let's get relational is we've got a track for business women and then a track for just women who want support in a, to figure out how to create an extraordinary life, which to me has a lot to do with our relationships. Women are so relational and it's so important for us to be able to talk with each other, hear each other and take a stand for each other and take a stand for ourselves. And that's the part I think a lot of entrepreneurial women really struggle with is like really taking a stand for themselves. And it's one of the things I've really liked about working with you is watching you, even when something was uncomfortable, taking a stand and moving through it. Yeah. And that's the part, I think that's really important for your listeners.
Speaker 2 (06:00): Oh, so good. There's so much, goodness, just in that initial opening statement you said, but yeah. It's, for some reason women will stand up for other people or other women before they would even stand up for themselves. Absolutely. And why do you think that is? I'm curious.
Speaker 3 (06:16): I think in the American culture, we're training that way. We're trying to put everybody else first and I've seen women do that too far to their detriment, but I've also seen women say, oh, I'm never letting my child interrupt my social life. And it's like, really? It's like, and so I've watched the, the the effect of that and the relationships that they have with their children as their children grow. It's important for us to take a stand for ourselves, but also to see who it is we're responsible for and who we're responsible to. And I think that in our culture, women are expected to do everything we're expected to manage the household. If we have a business we're expected to run the business. But a lot of women feel like they can't run their businesses without asking their spouse's permission for things. And that's been a huge eye opener for me and in business. Cause I never did that. My business was my business and I supported the family with that business, but I didn't need to have somebody else's permission. I might ask a question. I might ask about something off. Right. But not to ask permission. And a lot of women are in very disempowered positions in their relationships when it comes to their business. Oh,
Speaker 2 (07:30): That is, we're gonna do we gotta dig in on that one because that is a challenging conversation that whether a listener is, oh yeah. I would always have to ask my spouse's permission before I made an investment of a couple thousand or whatever. Or the other camp where it's like, yeah, whenever I talked to women who are potential clients of mine, they are like, well, you know, maybe, but let me talk to my spouse first. And you're just like cause I'm with you. Like I don't, I wouldn't ask, like if I were going to put new carpet in the house, I would of course ask. But if it was something like that, but when it comes to my business, it's like, wait, I'm, I'm the CEO. And he's like running, you know, he's got his own yeah. Corporate job or whatever. And it's like, I'm with you.
Speaker 2 (08:18): I might be like, Hey what do you think about this? Or I'm thinking about that, you know, I want your insight, but at the end of the day, like your spouse doesn't know your customer as well as you should know your customer base. And so what do you say? Like how do you navigate that difficult conversation when somebody says to you on a sales call, it's like, oh, I really love what you have and you know, I'm, I'm, I'm in, but let me just let me talk to my spouse and make sure it's okay. Before I say yes to you, how can we navigate that? Give us your insight tips. Cause I know you got it. One of the things I
Speaker 3 (08:50): Do is ask them how their relationship works. I mean, did they ask them about every they're gonna make how involved is the spouse in their business? Like you have a lots of women are married to people who are engineers, lawyers, people who think in a certain way, that's very different than their prospective clients think. And so the spouse doesn't have any idea what's important in their business. I, one of the big questions I ask is have you invested before and not followed through?
Speaker 2 (09:20): Mm cause that's usually where this is coming from, right? Like a fear base.
Speaker 3 (09:23): It is houses like, listen, we've already spent $10,000 this year. You know, where, where are you making the money back? And so often that's an issue for beginner entrepreneurs and for women who are more experienced entrepreneurs and successful, I think the issue more is about their confidence in their own ability to make a decision.
Speaker 2 (09:44): Oh, so good. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:46): So they can take a really strong stand for somebody else. But when it comes to taking a stand for themselves, they're really struggling with how to be sure they're making the right decision. Yeah. So for me, I ask people how it feels in their body. I asked them you know, before you ever talk to a spouse, is this a strong yes. If this is a strong, yes. Don't even bother talking to your spouse. There's no reason to, if you know, this is the right thing. And we blind out everything that this is going to do for your business. Why would you not say yes,
Speaker 2 (10:19): That's good. One thing I've, I've been, I've said in the past when it's like, well, what do you think he, what do you think he would say? You know, and it's like, well, let's play that out. That calmer. Oh, well, you know, my spouse, he always supports me and you know, this and that. And I don't think it's okay then it's like, what are we waiting for? Right. So I love that. That's really good way to navigate that challenging conversation, especially from a sales perspective. Oh, so good. So I'm curious, because one thing you said is like, you know, you tell them how how's that feel in your body and you, you can read them. And I think you hold space really well for people. You're easy to talk to this whole idea of like, you know, you kind of feel, I don't know if you use the word vibes, but you like feel their energy, I think is what you said. Is that something you, at what point in your life did you know that that's something you're good at?
Speaker 3 (11:09): It's funny. I, I think it really wasn't until like the last 10 years that I understood what it was. I knew that I could be with people and I knew what they were feeling before they ever said it. I remember sitting next to somebody at a workshop and we were doing a dyad exercise and we had written some things on our papers and we hadn't seen each other's papers. And so she gave the answer to what it was the question. And I looked at her, I said, that's not it. I actually think it's this. And I've never met this one before she picks her paper up and says, oh my gosh, that is exactly what I was thinking. So for me, I really have a very strong spiritual dimension to me. And for me, it's like channeling. When I get into a sales conversation, it's like me spirit and the other person with this, it's like an electrical circuit. And because I am so focused on hearing them and that's the thing I'm being present and I'm listening because most times people even conversation, they're trying to figure out what they're going to say. I'm trying to be totally present to what the person is trying to say.
Speaker 2 (12:12): Oh, that's a good perspective. That's an amazing perspective actually, because yeah, most people are focused on what are the next things I'm going to say, and they're not listening. And you're just completely in tune with that. Is this a skill you think that that, that people can learn pretty well?
Speaker 3 (12:27): Absolutely. That's one of the things that Sarah and I are teaching a lot in the work that we're doing is, is how to do that. And we've had some people contact us from are either of our pasts and say, wow, this really landed on me in this way. Like people you don't even know you're effecting. Yeah. which has been kind of fun and kind of weird in some ways too, you know, when it's somebody who's like, you know, that, that pops up. You're like, wow, where did that person come from? Yeah. But really learning how to be present with yourself is like a first step. And a lot of people are not uncomfortable with themselves. And the pandemic for us has really allowed us to get even more comfortable being alone. In fact, we don't live together, but we had to start working together cause we were alone so much.
Speaker 3 (13:12): Cause we each lived by ourselves. That, you know, we had to find ways to get the presence of not just ourselves, but some other people, but getting super quiet with yourself and being willing to have those conversations with yourself. You know? So when you're thinking about making a decision with something like, I know you just invested in some training, you know, you had to get quiet with yourself and say, why am I doing this? Why, how is this going to help me? How's this going to help my clients? What's the reason for me doing it. And by learning how to be quiet with yourself and have those conversations with yourself, you set the groundwork for being able to have those conversations with other people.
Speaker 2 (13:51): Oh, so good. I mean, think about it when, you know, we talked about navigating challenging conversations. It's a lot of the times that challenging conversations get gotta be with yourself. Not so much other people. Well, that was, yeah, that's a major. Aha. Yeah. And like one thing, you know, we were talking before this episode and it was like, I was telling you how I was investing and the training. And I'm like, you know, I want to be super intentional when I go in with, why am I doing this? You know, cause I know there's always a level up and I also know instinctually, I'm a level upper. Like this is why corporate was exhausting for me because it was always gave me the corporate ladder and I'll climb it. Cause like I don't, it's just, I know only know how to achieve. And the, this past year has been super beneficial for myself too, as well as many, many women entrepreneurs.
Speaker 2 (14:38): I'm sure to get that clarity of like, why am I doing this? And you know, getting really, and you know, intentional with yourself and whatnot. And so I was like, yeah, no, I'm going to go into this training knowing, going to be up-sold or, you know, an offer going to be made, which is fine. You need to do that at events and training and whatnot. But you know, for me, I'm also super intentional with, you know, like, this is why I'm using it. I'm not going to let my high achieving climb the pyramid ladder you know, get in my way because that, that instinct is so strong in me because it's, you know, it's just how I'm wired. And now that I know that it's like, okay, let's, let's unplug the wired and calm down, like, you know, and really be super intentional about that.
Speaker 2 (15:25): So I love that. And I think for anyone, because a lot of the women listening to this podcast as well, like there's always that another program, this e-course or somebody launching this and, and whatnot. And it's about, you know, I love what you were saying. It's like, it's, it's really about just being super intentional. I, for one pick a skill a year that I want to master and then I don't, I try not to, I try not perfect at it, but not to let the other shiny objects get in the way when something new and hot, you know, you need to learn how to do this on Instagram. You need, there's always going to be something to learn instead of creating it on your own and understanding how that works. So, Ooh, that's good. So as far as
Speaker 3 (16:13): Yeah, yeah. So one of the things that we talk about a lot is expanding your capacity and what you just said reminded me of this. And so when you're, when you're talking with someone, when you're having a challenge with someone, you have to really look at what their capacity is to be able to do and communicate the way you want. And so some people can't do those things. And what I do for myself to expand my capacity so that I feel like I've got more and more ability to relate in different ways and deeper ways is I do things that may not be something I wanted to do. Like I, two years ago I became a certified breathwork practitioner. I love that work, but I did it as much to expand my capacity, to be present and be expansive as I did for the training.
Speaker 3 (16:59): And I do do some breath work practicing, but not so much in the pandemic parts of the person. And I don't like the online part of it. But you know what you're saying about the training you do every year, it's for you to expand your capacity and your ability to relate and to communicate and to be a better leader. So all those, because we have to look at it as like, okay, have I expanded my capacity as far as I can with that training? Or do I need a master's level to become a bigger, better, more effective communicator or a leader or whatever, want to throw that in there that, that doing those things is super important. Yeah,
Speaker 2 (17:36): No, I agree. And it's like, and especially, it's like, you know, am I getting this master's level or PhD level or whatever to make everyone else, you know, acknowledge that I'm an expert or can I take this main thing, we'll call it a bachelor's degree and actually go put it to work and still get that results and transformation that we want for our clients. It's like, you know, sometimes we don't have to go all the way to the top. But sometimes it's totally necessary. And I love that. And I'm going to, I'm going to start thinking about that now. It's like, do have I expanded my capacity as a business coach? I may have thought, yes, I've been doing it for 10 years now. I'm like, no, because I know there's other ways I can help them. My clients get a transformation. They can say they want everything.
Speaker 2 (18:19): I want to do this, that. And where I was finding they were getting stuck was I can give them the business strategies. I can do all the things and they still weren't moving. So then I was like, ah, here we go. This is like getting into the mindset stuff, but I've had to work through over the last 10 years on myself. And I had to go through that so that I could understand that from their perspective. And now I'm like, all right, this is the missing link to expand my own capacity. And I love it. Love it. Cool. So from a challenging conversation standpoint, especially I see it often when a lot of the women I work with, I mean, we all work with, they're just nice people, right? You're just nice. And you may hire somebody or get into some sort of contract with them around whether you hire your virtual assistant or somebody to run your social media or whatever. And they're just, they come out hot, you know, like they're doing awesome. And you're like, oh my gosh, I'm so smart. Best hire ever. And then they like start things, start slipping. And the results just aren't what they were. And many women are like, oh, you know, like they don't want to have that conversation. Like what do you tell her?
Speaker 3 (19:28): Yeah, I think one of the things that a lot of people say is, you know, hire slow and fire fast. And so making sure that you've really had those conversations initially, and then from the point at which you're starting to feel like you're having some challenges to just have some heart to heart, Sarah and I do that with each other, as you know, as business partners, you know, we do that because we want to make sure our communication is clean and clear. And so there is nothing more important than having that conversation just say, Hey, I noticed some things have changed. And a lot of people have a philosophy of kind of that sandwich thing. So you compliment them on something in the business. Then you tell them the problem. Then you compliment them on something I'm super direct. And sometimes I forget the sandwiching, I'm super loving.
Speaker 3 (20:11): Like what we talk about in the companies that I've run is that I love you and your greatness. I'm never going to yell at you. I'm never going to be rave you, none of those things. So people bring that into the workplace. They're afraid that's what's going to happen. But I remind people on a regular basis, you know, you've made a mistake and we're gonna work on fixing it now. And how do we make sure it doesn't happen again? But to be able to like, be super clear, it's like, wow. You know, when we started out, things were going really great. Yeah. So feeling like some things are not going as well right now. And I'm, I'm feeling a little frustrated and I'm wondering if you might be feeling frustrated. And I wonder if there's a good way for us to be able to talk about this most comfortable for you and, and just having this conversation
Speaker 2 (20:54): And chances are the conversation isn't going to be near as bad as we work it up in our brain. Right. It's like, they're probably like, oh, I'm so glad you asked, because I found that working with you you're so like demanding. And if you just weren't, so to me, you know, it's like, wait, what, you're going to shine the mirror. You're going to shine the mirror on me. But it's good. Like some, but being like, I love that being able to open the door and, and just have those real conversations. And at the end of the day, if it's not a fit, then you can part ways as friends. But if it versus it getting so bad where you're just like, then it just gets weird. Right. And then
Speaker 3 (21:35): Compassionate your communication. We've used those words so much in this last year during the pandemic, it's a passion for where other people are. People are suffering in ways that they don't talk about in ways that they often don't even admit to themselves. You know, I have been surprised at the number of us entrepreneurs who've really been struggling. And I think everybody has, but you know, we have less structure. And so, you know, more time to just like, oh my gosh, what does this mean? What should I do? And I can't think of many people I know in business who have not revamped what they're doing in some way. And part of that is kind of trying to find what makes them happier. Sarah was looking for somebody for a little while. And she said, I really don't like this. I said, well, then communicate it. And she said, you know, this is what I really love doing that she has me doing, but I really don't like this part anymore. I said, then don't do it. But don't, don't set up a situation where that person is getting unhappy because you're not doing a good job communicating if there's a way to work it out. But be compassionate with your stuff and compassionate with the people you're having conversations with.
Speaker 2 (22:44): Yeah. So true. And realize that, like you said, they have their own stuff, they're dealing with their own stories. And then we're trying to filter that with our stories and like, you know, I mean, this goes, especially like when it comes to, let's just dig into money. Do you mind like dig into the money conversation that you have to have on the sales side and why women would rather throw up than ask for the sale on the phone or on a zoom call?
Speaker 3 (23:09): I think it's a lot the rejection, you know, because if they say no to your offer, they're saying no to you, they're rejecting you. And when you can separate that and realize that you're only making this offer, if you really feel like you can change this person's life, I've turned people away and I've done sales for other people. That's how we met. I've had an outsource sales company. And I, when I do sales, as I'm, I'm not trying to sell anybody. I used to own a real estate company and my philosophy was the same then if you're a buyer and what certain things, and I have a house that meets those needs, I'm like a transaction facilitator, right? It's like, you're the same way with sales. And so if I take the personal rejection part out of it, and I look at everybody, unfortunately I'm not a super competitive person and most of my life, but I have a hard time not trying to win on the phone sometimes. So I have to really check myself. And sometimes I'll put a little note up for myself. Like you don't have to wait. Anything. What I really want is to make sure it was a good match. And so I don't want to sell for somebody else into their program with somebody that's just not a good match just to get a sale. And for myself, if I'm asking for the sale, because I really truly believe I can help
Speaker 2 (24:25): You. Yeah. That's a great perspective.
Speaker 3 (24:28): I approach it with loving detachment. So I honestly do feel like sales is being loving. And if what I have to offer is going to change your life, going to change your business, going to make your dreams come true. It's my obligation to share that with you. And it's my obligation to not be attached to the outcome. If you can't feel it, if you can't see it, maybe I didn't do my job. Or maybe it's something you have to work on, but it's not personal. I just need to get more leads. And that's part of it is we get attached to that lead. Oh, I've got something I've got to sell it. No, get 10 more leads.
Speaker 2 (25:06): There you go. Right. And then people are like, but I don't know how to do that. And it's like, well then, then that's yourself. That's your development that you need to learn to do? So always more leads. One thing that I found myself really pushing back over the last year, I had like a really good friend who runs a multi-million dollar coaching company and, you know, and you know, I've really just admired her and, and whatnot. And we were talking one day and she's like, you know, what really changed things for me was when I could speak to the pain of my potential customer. And I'm like, what do you mean? You know, cause I'm, I think women tend to be let me just talk about the, could be the possibilities, the, whatever. I'm not going to acknowledge the pain you're in right now.
Speaker 2 (25:49): And for me, it's like has been an absolute game changer and not that I'm taking it and I'm twisting it and you know, I'm not being ugly with it, but I was before I was never even talking or acknowledging about it. And now it's like really important to, because if I have a solution to their pain, I want them to, I want to be that match for them. Right. And I think what you were saying earlier was it just kind of triggered that for me, was like, oh, this is the same thing I was doing when I wouldn't, I wasn't comfortable speaking to the pain because I didn't, you know, maybe I was afraid something would come up around the pain, like yeah. You know, well, your business is suffering. What's that really mean? What's that mean in your, in your family? Right. And it's like, Ooh, I didn't have the tools in my tool belt to really go there.
Speaker 2 (26:34): If it was like, well, you know, we could lose our house or we could do these bad things. And, you know, I just was like, oh, I'm so Pollyanna that it was just like, oh, okay, well let me just not address that, but that wasn't being fair to them. And it's not, it's not how you can coach to get that transformation, which is that's my carrot, the transformation for others. That's my carrot. And so I knew in order to expand my capacity as a coach you know, I needed to be able to, you know, work through that so they could get that transformation. So yeah. Is that something, you know, from a, have you ever, am I crazy or like, is that something, do you think a lot of women would really shy away from, you know, addressing the pain? You can tell me I'm crazy. That's okay.
Speaker 3 (27:15): Anyway, your ability to sit with the pain, your ability to sit with that pain makes a huge difference. And I have a very large ability to sit with pain. And I don't really know. I grew up with a lot of challenges, so I'm sure it's related to that, but I have a tremendous capacity to sit with pain. So more people move away from pain, then move toward pleasure and women aren't any different than that. And it, sometimes we are so culturally prime to, to be in pain that we can't even see that that's a problem to move away from the pain. And so nothing is strong enough that carrot of transformation isn't strong enough. And so we can see that the pain is something that we don't have to have any more. Number one. And number two, that there's hope.
Speaker 3 (28:07): Yeah. I have to say that on a sales conversation, even if I'm not going to sell something to someone, I like to leave them with hope. And I like to leave them feeling transformed in some way that they did something that they felt, the pain, that they felt the possibility. And everybody's different about how they do this. Some people just touch on the pain and dwell in the possibility because that's their personality. I have to touch on both and your capacity to sit with their pain. People who have told me things in sales conversations. They've never told anybody before. They've told me about abuse. They've told me about being held up at gunpoint. They've told, and people will do this. And this is just my vibe. I, you know, I'll be sitting in a bar having a drink and somebody will tell me their life story. And they'll say, I've never told anybody this before. I'm like, yeah. Okay. So now I'm sending support. I don't want to talk to anybody. I literally have to sit kind of like this because if they get my attention at all, they want to open up to that. But develop that capacity to be with anybody's pain, it is, is is really quite amazing. And, and to do that, you have to get super comfortable with yourself and super comfortable with your boundaries where you end and they began, their pain is not your pain.
Speaker 2 (29:18): That's what I was going to ask you next is how do you, you know, cause as I've done more personal development work and as anyone who is in doing personal development work and growing, you'll find like, you know, I'm very you know, was very like an 80, basically like an NLP, right? So it's like wasn't in touch with my feelings. Didn't grow up in an overly like hugging, nurturing environment kind of thing. And like, and then as you start doing this work, it opens you up. Like I was watching the bachelor last night and I'm tearing up. I'm like, what is wrong with me? But I, but it's also making, made me more empathetic and you know, I can feel stuff a little bit more. So what do you tell cause, and I know a lot of women who, especially with the need to help people transform, whether it's therapists, coach, coaches, you know, basically financial planners, I've worked with plenty of them that truly just want to help people, you know? And, but we take on that energy, like what's the best way to help them without impacting how we feel.
Speaker 3 (30:19): Yeah. This used to be a huge issue for me. I would just take on I'm very empathic. I didn't even know what those things meant. I just knew I took on people's feelings. And so first, first of all, it's an awareness. And second of all, it's creating boundaries. And that knowing you are not their savior, you don't have to fix all their problems. You are there simply to listen and to see if there's a solution that you can offer that will help them. And so it's, it's not getting analytical is so much as it's just like creating a strong sense of yourself. A lot of women in business don't have a strong sense of themselves. And I think that's what you're describing is you're getting very strong sense of who you are and how you really, you know, you're a family of all guys, you know, you've got the only female energy in the house. I mean, that's that's very different than a lot of women are working with. Right. Right. And so for you to learn how to work with each of the males in your household is really a great training
Speaker 2 (31:21): Ground. I'm having a blast. Like, you know, I mean, I've got one child who's a complete kinesthetic, I don't know how I made that. Like, you know, my husband's an a D I'm an ADV. And like, and these are an LPA terms that I know Linda and I were late with, but it's like, you know, and then I am raising another one. That's very like logical and this and that. And and yeah, and it's just like, okay, well, thank you God for giving me this kinesthetic child that now I have to remember to just say things like, how are you feeling? You know, like give me a hug, you know? And it's just like, and it's been the best, you know? I mean, oh, I have an amazing training ground. So you're
Speaker 3 (32:05): So right. Well, and the five love languages is super helpful that you've looked at that if we were going through the divorce with her other parents we were struggling with some things, but we always been close. And so we did the little quiz online and, and it was so helpful for us to realize she needed more of a certain thing and I needed more of a certain thing. And we immediately switched. We're able to do that. It's like, you're, you're doing the same thing in your family. And so, you know, for you to be able to know what you want and what you need and to become, this is the big, important thing I want to say related to, you need to be fully resourced when you're going into these conversations, you need to feel confident about who you are. You need to feel like you're loved. You need to feel like you're cared about. So you're not trying to get your needs met by your prospect.
Speaker 2 (32:53): You're not
Speaker 3 (32:53): Trying to get your needs met by your family. You're trying to, you're meeting your own needs and the other people contribute to that, but you're not trying to get everything from another person because that's where we get messy in the sales conversation. And it's not good. It's, it's unethical. It's it's wrong to try to get your needs met in those ways. It's really got to be about what you're offering. Is this perfect solution for this person that you're talking to. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:25): Oh, I love that. And I love the question that you pose around, you know, have you ever enrolled in a program before and not finished it? Right. Cause that's going to bring up, that's probably the core of why people are hesitant, even if, because you know, people don't tend to schedule a consultation with somebody if they haven't had some sense of like, oh, I need that. Or, wow, that's really interesting. I think that could help me. And then it's like, then the conversation happens. And I bet then all those things come up. Like I'm not going to finish. And I'm, you know, like all those inner dialogue that happens. So I love, I love that and just kind of getting it out on the table. And in my case, I've worked with a ton ton of clients who had really bad experiences with other coaches. And I'm just like, okay, well, you know, let's, let's dig into that. Let's talk about it. And sometimes it wasn't, you know, the coach, isn't the bad person. It's not the coach's fault. Right? It's like, there's underlying things that we can't point fingers at him or her because, you know, we should be pointing fingers at ourselves. So,
Speaker 3 (34:29): And sometimes we allow ourselves to get sold into the wrong thing. Yeah, that's true. This one was really good at sales and LP. Part of it, role you and you enrolled in the wrong thing that does happen.
Speaker 2 (34:42): It breaks my heart. I see it all the time. And it's like, and I, I think for me, like I wanted to get certified, then I'll pay more as like a, you know defense mechanism. I just being able to understand what's going on so I could protect just myself from it. And now I'm like, I can see how it can be used for good and then not so good. And I want to be part of that path, just like you that's being used for good. Right. And if somebody's not a fit, that's okay. Next. Right. I mean, you can wish, wish them well and move on. And then, you know, and if you're, if the scarcity is, oh gosh, I don't, I need the client. It's like, well, then you need to get better at getting leads. Right. Which is a whole other a whole other thing. So, oh, this has been so good. I feel like our time together has just absolutely flown by tell us how can I, I want to share with you, so, you know, Linda and Sarah put together an amazing resource it's free that you can get on their website at let's get relational.com/emergency phone guide. So let's get relational.com/emergency phone guide. Linda, will you tell us a little bit about this emergency phone guide and how it can help people?
Speaker 3 (35:49): And we, we call it the emergency phone, but I, but it's really the emergency communication guide. So it's, so many of us are doing zoom conversations or phone conversations to be able to just have it by your side so that you can remember things like, you know, if you feel like you're somebody who interrupts all the time, you know, one of our suggestions is stick with your hand on your mouth. I going to do this with my teenage daughter. So it was like, I wouldn't blurt out something I would do to give her a totally her space to say what she needed to say. And to do things like making sure you're fully resourced, you know? And it's like that don't approach a conversation without really feeling like you are altogether. And so things like breathe, things like that. And it's like, sometimes we just need reminders. I am one of those people that has post-it notes around my phone and my computer to remind me, you know, to let the other person speak and to ask the questions that going to lead them more. I want them to go in the conversation. So it's, it's one of the gifts that we created to make sure that the people get help with some hard conversations, because there were a lot of that going on
Speaker 2 (36:51): Right now. Oh, so good. Yes. I, you know, I'm very much, I was like laughing. I was like, yeah, I'm the sticky note person, but I tend to put like these like inspirational quotes around my computer. And my 11 year old son came in and was like on my computer some day. And he came in and he's like, Hey, mom, just wanna let you know. I, I wrote a note for you for tomorrow, but don't look at it tonight. Look at it in the morning when you get into your office. I was like, okay. And I get in there and he wrote me and he's really into like inspiring, you know? And he said, and I have it here. And I was just like, giggling, when you had said that in his, his inspirational quote for me was don't die. It's a waste of time.
Speaker 2 (37:30): Today will be your best day. I said, thank you. I will try not to die today. This it's like, great. But like, you know, he just, he gets such joy out of, you know if a kid doesn't get a good grade on a test and you know, he'll go pump them up and get motivated, you know, like it's really cute. I'm like, I don't know. I've got, you know, I'm really lucky with these kids as are you right? Like Sarah is amazing. So I think that's, that's so fantastic. So yeah, if you need some, you know, some, whether it's post-it notes around guiding, helping you guide through the conversation or a difficult conversation. I mean one trick I learned when I was in corporate consulting was if you had to have, whether it's a conversation, a lot of them were, you know, challenging.
Speaker 2 (38:16): It's like my CEO at the time gave me like amazing advice. And she said, here's what I want you to do. I want to, I want you to, pre-think how this conversation's going to go and, and just be prepared and mentally play it out in your head and you can even like type it up and, you know, do whatever. And I did that for a really hard conversation I had to have. And I'll tell you, like, I worked it up a heck of a lot bigger in my brain than it really was, but it helped prepare me. And then it's like, now I'm kind of like, I can have almost any conversation. And I know it's like, I just taught myself. It's gonna be five minutes. I'd rather just get it out of the way. And instead of having it loom on my brain and worry about it.
Speaker 2 (38:55): So using the emergency phone guide from Linda and Sarah, it's like, you're going to have a tool in your tool belt to be able to, to navigate that that may, may make you uncomfortable. And then how do we get uncomfortable? You just do it over and over and over again. Right. I mean, you didn't become amazing at what you do like overnight. None of us have, but you get better and better and it becomes easier. And you just keep layering on that. And I think that's why you're so amazing at what you do. You recognize I had this gift, you're a light worker and, you know, people just come to you. It's like, okay. So how can I, like, how can I do that and apply that to my business and look at, you have both built a business completely around your gifts. I think that's awesome. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:39): Yeah. Thank you. And it's funny because I built the other business where you met me based around somebody else telling me I was good at it, so I should do it, but it wasn't really where my heart was. So, and then it helps there and I say, okay, we're going to still continue that business, but let's do the thing that makes our heart sing. It makes your heart sing. I, you know, work with Tara and figure out how to get
Speaker 2 (40:00): There. And that was the only, I'm like I have a computer science and business degree. And someone told me once when I was 16 years old, I was good at the computer. That's why I went into that. And then I became a computer programmer and like went that whole route and business analyst, consultant, you know, did all the tech things. And I'm like, I don't even know I'm good at it, but I don't love it. Like, but it helps out sometimes my website goes down and all that good stuff. So, so yeah. So it's been so great having you on Linda. This is so fantastic. I can't wait to talk to Sarah as well. Again, go grab their guide, which is, let's get relational.com/emergency phone guide and download that and have that as a tool for, you know, to be able to navigate these conversations. And yeah. How else can people get in touch? Are you on any of the socials or anything like that?
Speaker 3 (40:53): Yeah. Right now Facebook we have a, let's get relational page podcast because on all of the major podcast sources, so people learn in different ways. We wanted to have a little bit of everything. And I just wanted to give a shout out to you. In our early days you were so helpful to us and helping us figure out who we were and what we wanted to do and all of that.
Speaker 2 (41:17): So, well, Hey, it's all about the ripple effect, as you know, right. If you can help somebody with one little thing that then is gonna like continue to go out, it's like that. That's why we do what we do. And, and they have a podcast called let's get relational. So go check that out and they'll do some more deep diving into things. So thank you, Linda. It's been such an honor. And yeah, I can't wait to, we're going to definitely stay in touch while all this. Thank you. Thanks, sir.
Speaker 1 (41:44): And there you have it. Another jam packed episode of the fast-track woman podcast, don't forget to visit terrible men.com where you can get more business tips and strategies learn how we can work together to accelerate your business success or access this podcast. Episode show notes with a full transcript and links to resources mentioned today. And if you enjoyed this podcast, I invite you to leave a review so that we can help serve more women business owners to like you until next time here's to owning your time and valuing your word.
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