Episode #89: How to Thrive as An Entrepreneur After 50 with Kelly Jayner-Byrneki

The Fast-Track Woman Podcast: Episode #89
How to Thrive as An Entrepreneur After 50 with Kelly Jayner-Byrneki

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 Meet Podcast Guest, Kelly Jayner-Byrne.

Kelly Jahner-Byrne took her business over $1M in sales revenues and her nonprofit to $1M. Kelly is a former Mrs. Minnesota, runner up in the Miss America and Miss USA programs, earning thousands in scholarship and sponsorship dollars. She has learned the ins and outs of getting events and herself sponsored and profitable! A two-time author, professional singer and background in sales, marketing, she built her businesses WHILE working in corporate. A new mom at age 40, then losing her executive job during the economic downturn, Kelly was left wondering why she was killing herself for a company that didn't truly value her. She is The HOW Gal! She is always Helping.Others.Win! which is her secret to success!

 About this Podcast Episode.

In this episode, Terra Bohlmann interviews "The How Gal", Kelly Jahner-Byrne. Kelly shares insightful "how-to" strategies to thrive as a woman entrepreneur after age 50. As a former Mrs. Minnesota, runner-up in the Miss America and Miss USA programs, Kelly shares her lessons learned on how she was able to transfer her skills of raise money for scholarships and sponsorships into sales revenue exceeding one-million dollars.

 Resources, Tools, and Links Mentioned in this Episode.

 Read and Download the Transcript for this Episode.

Speaker 1 (00:01): When you give smart women a five-year plan, simple business strategies and a positive mindset. It's amazing how fast your business can grow. Welcome to the fast track woman podcast with your host and business strategist, terrible woman. She helps women business owners stop winging it and board the fast track to success. When she's not making high flying dreams, the reality you can find her traveling to random destinations, desperately tracking down Chanel, broaches, or sipping overpriced coffee drinks. Her purpose in life is to help you build a profitable first-class business, smooth out the bumpy ride, and finally have more time, energy and freedom. So buckle your seatbelt because this episode of the fast track woman takes off right now. Welcome back to the FastTrack

Speaker 2 (00:52): Woman. I am your host, Tara Boldman. And today we have an exciting show. We're going to dig into a topic that I don't think a lot of people talk about when it comes to entrepreneurship after the age 50. Oh, and regardless if you're 40 years old, you are going to get so much value in this because I have a total rockstar that I'm going to be interviewing, and she's a wealth of wisdom, and I can't wait for you to meet her. So let me give her the respect that she deserves. I want to read her former formal bio for you. So Kelly Jonar Bern took her business over $1 million in sales revenues, and her nonprofit to 1 million. Kelly is a former Mrs. Minnesota runner up in miss America and miss USA programs, earning thousands in scholarships and sponsorship dollars. She has learned the ins and outs of getting events and herself sponsored and profitable.

Speaker 2 (01:52): A two time author, professional singer and background in sales marketing. And she has built businesses while working in corporate, a new mom at the age of 40, then losing her executive job due to the economic downturn. Kelly was left wondering why she was killing herself or a company that didn't truly value her. Does that sound familiar? She has the how gal. She is always helping others win, which is her secret to success. You can learn more about Kelly at her amazing website, which is www.thehowgal.com. So please join me in welcoming Kelly Jonar Byrne. Hello, Kelly. How are you doing today? Hey,

Speaker 3 (02:39): There is that, were you talking about somebody else sometimes when you hear your bio, especially when you're this age, when you're this age, it's kind of like what in the world? You know, always,

Speaker 2 (02:48): I, I know that's why I do it because I interview so many massive, amazing women. And I think sometimes it's really cool for you to have to kind of sit there and like get to bask that success. Right. And it's like, that's me. So I love that. That's why I always read the bios. It's more for it's for the audience, but it's definitely for you as well.

Speaker 3 (03:09): Fun. It's definitely fun. You know, when you when you actually hear the list of things that you've accomplished, because sometimes women were so busy worrying about all of the things that we didn't accomplish or what we didn't get done, that we, we fall under that imposter syndrome and we fall behind what we haven't yet done. And so we need to definitely

Speaker 2 (03:29): On that, that we need to dig into that for sure, because it's one of these things that we all have to just get out of our own way. And I think what you're amazing at is how to help people reach their goals. And especially in entrepreneurship over the age of 50, I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've talked to women entrepreneurs that they're like, I'm 50, or I'm pushing 50. And I left the corporate world and I'm going all in with this. And I like, but is this too late? Is it like all the things and everything comes up for them and, you know, and they, it just stalls them. And I think that's why it's super important to have this discussion right now with you. So will you share with us, give us a little bit of background, you know, more detail around the background. Obviously I read it in your bio, but like, you know, this whole concept of life and entrepreneurship after the age of 50 and like, how do you, like, what does that mean to you, especially with your background?

Speaker 3 (04:30): Well, it's interesting because, you know, 50 is just really a number, you know, all of these things, you know 50 is the new 30, or, you know, 65 is the new 45, whatever it is, age is really a number because, you know, if you've ever gone to your high school reunion and you see those people that were, you know, all that in a bag of chips, and then now all of a sudden they're you don't even know who they are. Good thing they have a name tag on. Right. kind of funny. So you know, I think for me, I've re I reinvented myself this year and I just decided that you know, as we get to this fifties and for a lot of people, it's a lot sooner. I know you've experienced this, but when we get to this age where we have cared for our parents and maybe our parents have passed, or they're getting to the age where you're kind of sandwiched between some kids, you know, I didn't have my son until I was 40 and I was working hardcore in the corporate world and I had my own business.

Speaker 3 (05:25): I was chasing my dreams, you know, after hours. And thank goodness that I did. So I had a you know, I had a landing pad when I got fired out of the corporate world in the economic downturn, you know, I didn't do anything wrong, the economy just tanked. But the interesting thing that I have found is, you know, when it's too late to start, when you're dead, that's a screw. You know, if the good Lord is waking you up every morning, there is some plans for your hands, for your brain, for your feet. You know, for your smile, there are some magic plans. And you know, this last three years, I would say, have been defining it. And for the record, I'm 54. And so as I was leading up to, you know, my, my 50th and I had grandiose plans of what I would, what I would be doing you know, the universe had other plans.

Speaker 3 (06:18): We had a construction project on our dream home, our lake place that went a bit south and we recovered from that. And then my folks got you know, sick, thank God that I have you know, a great business that pays me whether I work or don't. And so advice to women make sure that you, you have a skill set that you're always working on that you can find, you know, a landing pad you know, and then after taking care of my folks, I you know, they both my parents passed last year. I and I ran for office and I ran my business and I started another business. And then I started, you know, I started coaching with with a new coaching company because coaches need coaches. Right. And so I think the biggest thing is, is that you have to have a couple of things.

Speaker 3 (07:09): Number one is I think you have to have desire. You have to have a desire because nobody can teach you desire. You have to you can want something, but when you have that deep seated desire and desire must meet action. Because if desire doesn't meet action, then you know, then it's just then it's just really all for not, yeah. I have brought out my dream boards. I know that some people think dream boards are fluffy. I one of them but I actually I pulled out my dream boards because I was cleaning my office and I looked at them and I was absolutely shocked. I'm shocked because some of the business ideas that I put on there came to pass shocked because I did not, I had one year that had a mushy dream board. It didn't, it didn't have a lot.

Speaker 3 (08:04): And that was when I was going through some turmoil and trauma with folks, you know, just life. But I was really, really shocked at just how much came to pass and things that I put on my dream board in 2017, or, you know, for some people, it's their list of goals for some people, it's something that's their screensaver, whatever it is, it's all a dream board. However you look at it. I looked at things that I had on my list in 2017 and literally they have just come to pass. Right. And so if you don't, we know that the stats prove it that 42% of people that do not put something down on paper and then commit to it, 42% of those things written down and take an action upon actually come true. And so just by nature of putting it down on paper, it has a much chance, but that piece between desire and action they, they have to happen. Otherwise I think you just spin after 50 is business after 50, 50 years of knowledge, hard knocks babies at 40 parents you know, marrying them and burying them. I mean, it sounds terrible, but it's, it's a fact of life gain knowledge and that knowledge has value. And if you can turn that knowledge and the value that it has into a business you're going to succeed. It's amazing.

Speaker 2 (09:32): Absolutely. So true. I mean, in speaking of dream boards, vision boards, wherever you want to call them, I mean, I keep mine, I have maybe five beautifully done business, you know, like vision boards. And I like to just look at them just to reflect on where I've came. And it's so interesting. And now I do them. There's an app. Did you know, there's a vision board app for it's a free app and you can do it and create one. And I had my screensaver on my phone now and you know, and I'm like on this last one, I have I'm one goal away, right? From like one of my, one of my squares on there. And I think it's just really important that we all take the time to actually define out where do we want to be? Where do we want to go? What's a visual representation of that so that we can then go back, like you said, and go, wow, it happened, it happens. And we don't just stop and slow down and take a second to appreciate it because we're just on to the next thing, right?

Speaker 3 (10:28): How many people are so many people are concerned about you know, keeping that job. I know that in this economy and, you know, with pandemic and, you know economy and things going, you know, the world turning upside down, literally the world, this time turning upside down, I think a lot of people have freaked out. I have to keep my job and they hate their job. You know, a lot of people are keeping their job and they hate their job. And the minute you take that paycheck, you're beholden to that set of rules. Now I'm not advocating that people should go kick, kick quit their job. I think that's you know, that's certainly not what I'm advocating, but the minute that you bank on yourself is the minute that you pour a little more gas on the fire. And I always knew I was an entrepreneur probably since I was eight years old.

Speaker 3 (11:16): I was never a girl scout. I never got to be a girl scout. So I never got to sell the girl scout cookies, but I've eaten and purchased many, you know, but I was always up for, you know, I think I was always in sales. And when people realize that everybody, everybody is in sales, then you can just accept that and go and do the things that you love. And sales is nothing more than opening up the door to a relationship so people can get to know you so they can buy from you, whatever that is. So it's, it's just, I don't know. I look at life at 50 as I'm right now, I'm in better shape than I was in at 54 than I was at 50. I I feel stronger than I did before. I feel more knowledgeable than I did.

Speaker 3 (12:10): I feel like I have more energy just to put in into other people than I did. And each year that goes by, I think people are kind of like an onion, you know, a layer, a layer gets peeled off and you drop that layer down and and you don't worry about it. You know, it just goes down the garbage disposal, that extra layer. And I don't have the fear that I used to have, and that's what I want to help all the clients. And the people that I work with is get rid of the fear, dump the fear, because everybody's a hot mess. Even, even when you, we, you know, like we have our lipstick on today. And, you know, even though this is your people are listening to this, we're dressed, we're dressed for the game. But the reality is, is everybody's a hot mess. Everybody is just a struggle, you know, just a struggle away from thinking, oh, I can't do it. But the reality is, is you've got to surround yourself with the tools to keep, you know, keep the train on the rails. And and if you, if you don't know what to do for God's sakes, go find help, get, get, get some help, whether it's a coach, a therapist a mentor, some training, but go do something. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:31): You don't have to have all the answers and oh goodness, no goodness. One thing that I found super interesting, like I, I heard this statistic and you can say, yeah, but like, you know, when you're thinking in terms of doing something, whether it's different or bigger or greater after 50, right? It's like whether you want to retire from the corporate world and there's something next, right. Or maybe it's like, you know what, this just, I need, I don't know. I'm feeling called to do something in a bigger way. I want to leave a legacy. And what I found when I saw the statistic, I was, I was mind blown. And it was people who retire when, if they don't have something planned or a hobby or a business, or a big something on the books, right. To do after they retire, they'll re the statistics show that people pass away within five years, if they don't have something bigger to reach for, even if it's deciding to golf every single day

Speaker 3 (14:30): Or purpose its purpose,

Speaker 2 (14:33): The purpose in place. And I'm like, and I know we talked, you know, a couple of weeks ago as well. And you know, you were such a huge support when my dad passed away and he passed away March 29th, he wasn't set to officially retire until May 1st. So it was like a, all that did give me more like evidence that man, and he wanted to travel. He wanted to do some things or whatever, and he didn't get the opportunity. So it's like now is the time to really use that purpose, whether you're 35, 45, 55, it's like, if we're 65 or 75, 75, I know you just interviewed a 90 something year old on your podcast,

Speaker 3 (15:14): Read a hundred years old

Speaker 2 (15:15): And he's still making things happen. So we've thought time. So don't use the excuse of like, I don't know, technology or businesses different now. No, it's not. It's the old school way still works.

Speaker 3 (15:29): Right. Right. Well, it's interesting that you say that the excuse thing I have come across folks that are like, oh, you don't, I don't know how to use technology. That is an excuse. There is a 15 year old or a 12 year old or a nine-year-old that can show you how to, you know, how to turn the phone on and call. And I have found that when I actually pick up the phone I leave very short, quick to the point messages whenever I can, but it's amazing. The other thing I've gone back to is snail mail. I, I, right now, you know, I I love getting letters, the graduations, the birthday invitations, getting those wedding invitation, whatever it is. I open that first. I don't open the, you know, the bank statement first and I don't open the newspaper first.

Speaker 3 (16:13): I opened the hand addressed stuff first, and I think that that's, that's great. But you know, back to this point of purpose, what I find astounding is how many business folks that have some experience, and it's not just business men or business women, but it, it, I think it's just people in general that are unsure of what their purpose is. And so you know, why, why am I walking this earth? And it's not, what's the meaning of life so much as what is my personal purpose and you know, with kids growing up and, and moving on and everything becoming very virtual, I think it's really thrown people into a tizzy. So I actually worked with a gal recently about finding her purpose. And I was astounded that she even called me we won't use her name, but I know if she listens to this, she'll know exactly who she is and she'll say, oh my goodness, I can't believe you used my example, but I think she's not alone.

Speaker 3 (17:09): The idea of having a very decorated career doesn't need to be that you made a lot of money, but it may be that you you know, were very consistent or you, you know, you you are with a company for a long person, a long period of time as this person was highly respected. And now here we are going to take early retirement because, you know, we're 50 to say over 55, just over 55, but not yet 60 worked for that retirement. And now here it is all of a sudden, what do we do? And we sat down and talked a little bit well we talked a lot about purpose and then she ended up becoming a client because she wanted to really work through what it is that she wants to do with all the skillset that she has, because retiring to the you know, to the travel and the Florida home and the grandkids, wasn't what she wanted to do. And I think that's very true for both men and women. What are we going to do when we really do retire? So it's interesting, but I don't know. I think women are starting businesses and there is so many needs online, there's so many needs that could be filled online, but people just don't know how to go about it or what to do or where to start. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:25): And one thing I always like even tell my clients, cause sometimes they think, you know, especially women who are in executive positions and stuff like that, you know, and they think, you know, they start going, I'm going to build a business. And it's like, this is the second phase of my life. This is chapter two or three. And it's like that whole feeling of like, okay, overwhelm, I'm going to build the company for the corner office in the, you know, and it's like, no, no. Like you can just have a very simple boutique business that makes money and feels good to you. And

Speaker 3 (18:54): Allowing the joy brings you joy,

Speaker 2 (18:57): But has boundaries around it. You don't want to work on the weekends. Don't I don't like, I literally, if I have a client that says, can we talk Monday? I'm like, no, I only talk to client. I do my client meetings on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So it's like, you can create boundaries so that you really are setting up for, you know, the life you want and the joy you want versus, you know, the stress you're feeling because you were working 12 hours a week

Speaker 3 (19:21): Would ask, I would ask your listeners to, you know, think about these couple of these couple of things, because I know, you know, Tara, she's an amazing coach mazing program. And you're amazing at what w what you do. It's, it's so awesome. But I would ask listeners to, you know, think about these couple of questions. First one is, is how much money do you really have to make? How much money do you really need to make that would give you a sense of accomplishment for a lot of people, it's a lot less than they you know, they think how, you know, how much time do you really want to work? You know, for me, it's important that I get to take my son to school. You know, I'm wrapping up a middle schooler, we're going to be going off to high school.

Speaker 3 (20:11): I want to drive him every day until he can drive himself. He's not quite there yet. And so I want that morning in the morning, I want to go work out. And those are things that are really important to me because your health is your wealth. You know that from losing your dad, your dad was a lot younger than my dad was. Yours was in the sixties. Mine was in his eighties. And so, you know, when you look at, when you look at what is really important to you, you want to design that, that life's that lifetime, my working hours are between 10:00 AM and 3:00 PM. And a lot of people, you know, think, oh my God, how could I ever a business like that? Well, the reality is, as you decide you desire, you decide, you take action. Now, if you're still working, full-time in the corporate world, then maybe what you do is you give yourself one hour a week, you've given an employer 40 hours a week, and they would replace you tomorrow without a, without a blink, because don't think that they wouldn't because they will.

Speaker 3 (21:09): It's just because it is about the business, right? If you would invest even one hour, if you don't know where to start one hour a week, a day a month start somewhere. And I know Terry that you help people do that. I help people do that in a very, you know, in a very different way than you do, and it's just starting, but, so, so just get some momentum start it's it's the start that stops people. They freak out over the fear. And that's the piece. That's the place that I've helped people is get started, get on a path because here's the deal. If you don't like the path, take the next turn. Absolutely. You have choice change, Joyce change. You know, you don't have to, you don't have to be stuck in what you're doing forever. And interestingly enough, you know, you, you start out, we've all been taught this mantra, you know, you have to go to school, get a job, work hard, and, you know, do all of that.

Speaker 3 (22:12): Well, I think it's important. There's a few tags in there that I think are important. I think it's important. You know, knowledge is power. But I'm not sure higher education is the right path for everybody or another course. If you've got three degrees already, what, and you're not making any money, what, what do you think a doctorate or a master's is going to do for you? The second piece is, is I think it's important to work hard for what you want and there, and there is going to be some hard work, but I think it's more important to work smart. And that, that third thing is, is getting, getting to help getting some help, but vet your help. There's a bazillion coaches and courses, and, you know, do this and you'll make a million. And if they say that you should run, you should run my opinion, my opinion, but it's work. It takes work like this take work, you

Speaker 2 (23:05): Know, like lay on a beach and, you know, money just flies out of the ATM. Like, I mean, and it takes work and, you know, and you gotta be willing to put in the time and to your point about the spend an hour a day, right? Like I work with a lot of women that are on the fast track. They came from a fast track in the corporate world. And they're trying, they're trying to duplicate that in their business. And the reality is if you are what I call a corporate newer, so you're in the corporate world, but you're thinking about transitioning out into the, you know, the entrepreneurship world. One thing you can do is, is just pull back, pull back the reins a little bit on what you're doing in the corporate world. So I think you said earlier, you know, you're working 40 hours a week.

Speaker 2 (23:51): You know, most of these high achieving women are probably doing 60 hours. So the thought of like being so overwhelmed to think about creating the side business so they can have something with, they want to leave the corporate job or after retirement or whatever is so exhausting. Well, what if you pull back the reins a little bit, right? And your knowing your 50% effort is most people's 100%. So you can pull back, don't work. You don't have to work 60, 80 hours a week. What have you just worked 50 hours a week? You know, like you can find time to do your own thing and still, you know, hit what you need to do and what, you know, you feel an integrity to do to get your paycheck. And it's like, just pull back a little bit and make yourself your own best client and, and work for you.

Speaker 2 (24:40): So that was something that was a big aha for me, whenever I was in the corporate consulting world, working my butt off weekends. Oh yeah. My whole brand was given to terrorists. I'll get it done. And I was like, I want to start my own business, but I never had quote unquote time. Well, you know what? I just pulled back and I started asking for projects that I knew would help me in my business. Yep. Put me on the salesforce.com project. Yep. Put me, because I wanted to learn sales. I wanted to learn, I wanted that knowledge. I want to be paid to learn, and that was super beneficial. So I love that you know, the 40 hours a week. Heck yeah. But you know, pull back the reins a little bit and relax and actually have some fun doing it. So I think that's, that's a brilliant way to find the time because that's always one of, and I'm sure you hear it all the time. How am I going to have the time?

Speaker 3 (25:29): Oh, I don't have time. I don't have time. Is the biggest is the biggest excuse. It's all it is. It's fear. It is. I don't have time equates to, I don't know how I'm afraid. There, you know, God gave everybody the same 24 hours and why do some people accomplish so much? And I think that, you know, I look at all of the little things that have wasted time for me. So, you know, it's funny that we're talking about this right now, Tara, because I just did this. I went to drop my son off at school this morning and we went a little bit earlier than normal. And I go to the gym after that. And my, you know, my thing is, is I bring myself a cup of coffee. And before I go to the gym I fit or before I walked into the gym, I finished my cup of coffee.

Speaker 3 (26:17): And that's when I do a little bit of Facebook scrolling or I might do some email or whatever. Well, this morning I set a timer and I, I said, you know what? You've got to finish this cup of coffee. You have 10 minutes. And I set this timer. And when the alarm went off, I was like, shocked. It only felt like it was like a minute. So I think I just found myself a great way to grab more minutes back. I was done, oh my goodness. I was done with workout like 25 minutes sooner than I thought. And, and during that time that I found today, I actually went in and taught myself a little something with our w you know, with my mail email system. And I would not have even thought to do that today. So I, I took my own advice of setting timers for things or alerts. There's so much time that's wasted watching, you know, the latest Netflix or keeping up with the Kardashians or, or anything. And I'm not saying that, you know, if, if that's your guilty pleasure that you shouldn't do it we all have to have our guilty pleasures, but what if you were to take some of that time watching somebody else's reality, create your own yeah, yeah. Create your own reality.

Speaker 2 (27:34): That is so cool. So, I mean, I know we don't have tons more time, but I have like at least three more questions for you. So the first four in the first one is what is your biggest tip or strategy for that woman who is saying like, I don't know if I can do this entrepreneurship. I'm 50, I'm over, I'm 50, I'm approaching 50. What the heck? Like, what is her first step to like, get out of her own way?

Speaker 3 (28:01): I think the first step to get out of your own way is to grab a pen and paper and just without giving it any thought, just any piece of paper whatever's quick, quick, and close and write down, what do you like about your life and what is not serving you? And that list, that list in and of itself will be very telling, because if there's more stuff that you don't like than stuff that you do, like take take heed, that would be, that would be one of the big tips. I am a, I am a huge fan of actually taking your hand and grabbing a pen and writing it down on paper. You can try, you know, you can transfer it to your computer or whatever, if you're, if, if you're a tech person, but if you're 50, you're going to know what a notebook and a piece of paper really feels like. And for a lot of people that feels pretty good. I would absolutely do that if you're 30 that's a great exercise as well, because it may cause you to not go down a path where you waste time. That's one of the biggest thing that's

Speaker 2 (29:03): So good. And what I've found is women especially are so good at telling you what they don't want. Oh, I don't want this. I don't want that. I don't, but they're not great at telling you or themselves what they do want. And so by doing this exercise, I have no doubt. She's a hundred percent, right. That we are. You're going to be able to see exactly what you do want. If you have to start with what you don't want. Awesome. But you can also, you're going to learn what you do want and then build your thing around that and drive that forward. I think that's brilliant advice as usual, Kelly. I'd like to talk for a few minutes. So you as a former pageant gal, right? Mrs. Minnesota winner, you'll run her up and miss America, miss USA, can you, I, that's such a unique skillset and just experience that you got to experience, right. So what is, you know, what are some of the biggest, maybe top one or two takeaways that you learned from that experience that now help you to have built over a million dollars in sales rev, and over a million dollars in nonprofit? What are the, what are the things that you learned the most going through that the pageant circuit that you can share with our listeners,

Speaker 3 (30:11): I've learned to never be a quitter don't quit. And this is why I I entered you know, I, I got into pageantry. I don't, I don't even know really how, but it started when I was like seven, I was in the local little swimming pool thing and I lost, and that devastated me. And I we talked about this when we chatted last week, but it, it devastated me as a little kid because I found out that life, not everything is fair. Not every everything is, is fair. So we'll leave that at that I wanted to go on. I really wanted to sing, I really love singing. And it just so happened that the high school that I went to my choir teacher had been miss Minnesota. And she was runner up. And in Minnesota, Dorothy Behnam became miss America that year.

Speaker 3 (30:59): And my choir teacher was her first runner up. So she got to advance to become this Minnesota while the Dorothy went on to become miss America. And so I really idolized her and she was a lovely, lovely lady. But I was looking to her for soaring for some encouragement, and I didn't get the encouragement you know, to go compete. So I had to find that myself and I did, and I was very young and I didn't know what I was doing. And I'm probably sure I fell in last place and I was going to quit because I didn't think I was good enough. Then I got into college and, you know, I needed to I needed to make some money. I was running out of money. My parents didn't have any money to put me in college. And their, this miss Minnesota program came up, you have to win a local to get to the states.

Speaker 3 (31:42): Then whoever's miss Minnesota gets to go to miss America. And although I was in the miss America program, I never got to go to miss America because I was a two time run around. So I had been runner up to miss Minnesota America two times. And this is what it taught me. It taught me incredible interview skills. It taught me incredible poise and perseverance. It taught me how to be graceful you know, when you, when you don't get what you want and it taught me that, you know what, I'm actually a little bit better at things than I ever gave myself credit for. So I went on to you know, I went on to compete in miss Minnesota USA, and I was a runner up again. Oh my goodness. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. And, you know but I made a lot of money in scholarships and I it taught me sales.

Speaker 3 (32:33): I had to go out and sell myself you know, to the people that sponsored me that, Hey, if I win, I will make an appearance at your car dealership. Or you know, you, you guys do a charity thing. I will make an appearance there. I will sing, or I will perform, you know, for an event. And, and people were so genuine and so generous. And the answer is always no, if you do not ask. And so it gave me, it was in the loss in all of the losses that I really garnered wisdom. And then and I hung up my glass slippers. I hung up my high heels until later many years later. When I got married, you know a friend encouraged me to run for Mrs. Minnesota and lo and behold, the same dang thing happened again. I literally, I lost the first time.

Speaker 3 (33:27): I didn't even make the top 10. And then I did it again and I was third runner up, but I broke my arm three weeks before the program. And so I got my cast off, you know, and my husband said to me, my husband never knew that I had ever been in any of these other pageants or anything. Cause you know, it just didn't, it didn't come up. I don't know. But anyway, he was like, you should do this. Yeah. And we were, we were sitting talking and he said in passing, you know how you, your spouse can get you know, or your mother can get, you know, the Burr under your saddle. He said, you know, you got just about to the finish line with a broken arm. I was third runner up with a broken arm. Imagine what you could have done if you would have had two good arms.

Speaker 3 (34:11): Oh, I was somewhere between, I wanted a slight yell at him, break his arm, kick him, kiss him. But you know, I went to bed that night and I thought, okay about it. And this is what changed that brought me across the finish line. Timing is everything. And when you have the desire and the drive that you put your eye on the prize and you don't look to either side, you see all those years before, I think I looked at other, other people and I compared myself and the comparison game in business and in life is death. Yes. And what I mean by that death is it's, it makes you feel terrible about yourself or holds you back. And then, and then it just instills fear, but you don't nobody, I, I don't know how many people would fail as many times as I have failed or actually went out and talked about it.

Speaker 3 (35:04): So I talk a lot about my failures because in that failure, I really hope that there is somebody, some heart that's listening that I could encourage to just say, give it one more shot. Just go one more time, just go one more time. And that, that was really magic because that timing really, you know, Tara let me onto a lot of cool things. I, I was Mrs. Minnesota. I was the September 11th, Mrs. Minnesota. I wrote a book over a weekend. I had the book published. I, I, we sold 2,500 copies, like instantly it was sold before I ever paid a penny for it. And I raised $3 million for charities all over the U S that would've never happened if it hadn't been the right timing, but I needed to grow as a person, as a speaker, as a working with my non-profit and business.

Speaker 3 (35:58): And you just did all these different things to be pro you know, to have some of that prep. So I could be ready for what was ahead of me and that, you know, that lesson of it's okay to fail and it's okay to fail big because maybe the wind is going to be super huge. And I know you two have experienced some of those amazing wins after a failure or a hurt or hurts, you know, a personal hurt. It's kind of like, you know what, nobody, there's no guarantees in life, but if you don't take a step and take stock in yourself and just believe in yourself or find somebody that believes can breathe belief into you, you will. You'll always wonder what if I think that that would be a terrible thing to be on your death bed thinking what if,

Speaker 2 (36:50): If I would've just ran again from us as Minnesota and what I think is so interesting is when I would, I wouldn't do the sob story of why does this, because mine was like, oh, I kept meeting friends like in business that I'd, you know, become friends, whatever. And then something would happen. Like I would care too much about the friendship more than they would, or, you know, I kept getting burned. Well, let's just say I have getting burned. And you know, someone would steal my stuff, like all this stuff. And I'd go to my one friend, you know, the wise friend that can totally breathe truth NGO. And I said, her name's Kelly. I said, Kelly, why does this keep happening to me? So, so frustrating. It's like freaking Groundhog's day. What am I doing wrong? And she looked at me here, you're going to continue to see this over and over again until you've learned your lesson. And I'm like, I think in all of it, there's so many lessons to be learned. So whether you didn't say you, even if you didn't run for miss Erica or listeners, didn't do a pageant scene, they have something in their life that they can look back at and say, wow, well, I thought that was the worst thing in the world. Now that I'm on the other side of it, it was really the biggest gift.

Speaker 3 (38:03): Well, it's interesting. I did that, you know, I did that Mrs. Minnesota program while I was a corporate executive, very quietly, lots of people didn't, you know, didn't know I was you know, I was even competing until I had, you know, until I had I had one, but what you're to your point of what you say that, you know, you don't have to be in a pageant or you don't have to be in a, you know, a, an athlete or something. Everybody is doing something, whether you are the PTA mom you know, the corporate lady or the PTA mom or whatever it is, everybody is trying to do something. And they'd been knocked off the we'll call it the throne. We you've been knocked off of your position. Or you didn't get what you wanted. So it doesn't have to be a pageant of concert of race. It doesn't have to be any of that. Every person walking the planet has been knocked back on something. Yeah. If you haven't, you're doing it wrong. Yeah. You're doing it wrong. No kidding. The 1% of people that have never really experienced, you know, any, any failure. Well, I still haven't met that 1%. They say there is 1% that hasn't met some kids, a big failure. But I, I don't believe it. Yeah. They're not playing

Speaker 2 (39:16): Full out, you know, it is

Speaker 3 (39:19): Just get back up. You have to get back up. And I think that you have to give yourself grace, you have to give yourself grace. And as we get, you know, it's so amazing how you get wiser as you get older. Can you imagine having this knowledge when you were 20? No, I think it would be frightening. Yeah. Right. I think it would be, I think it could be, it could be frightening and there's a, there's an order to life, but I would, anybody that is listening that's, you know, 40 or 50, or even before, it doesn't matter the age, like I said, age is a number. But if you are thinking about moving some harebrained idea that you have forward, take the step and at least you'll know, at least you'll know. And, and then, and if it's a, if it's not a good idea or it's not something that you can bring out there, then you can think about your next idea, but there's, there is, I don't know what the statistic is and maybe you do, but there is this percentage of people or some stat out there that I just read recently about people that have ideas or a goal or a a yearning, a desire to do something.

Speaker 3 (40:32): And if they squelch that desire, it actually does something. It says something it's, the statistic has something to do with your health, that it actually deteriorates your health because you're, you're putting, you know, you're putting away this joy or this passion or this thing that you want to go do. And I believe it because you know, there's a lot of people that are just, they're just working, you know, nine to five in something that they hate. I'm not saying working nine to five is a bad thing because my dad was a construction worker. He was a carpenter. And you know, he w they worked hard. Oh my goodness. They were union carpenter. He was a master craftsman, but he loved what he did to the, to the very end minute. And, but, you know, he was the more traditional nine to five working, you know, for somebody, he loved it. But if you are not doing what you're love, no matter what it is I think you need to take stock and take a peak. And I think

Speaker 2 (41:30): It was Oprah that said, if, you know, for me started that way in the corporate consulting world, it starts as a whisper, like, do you really want, and then it gets into a louder, like, knock, hello. You're not supposed to be doing this. And then you literally hit the brick wall that you're like, okay, like, no, no more, because your body will manifest in some sort of sickness and stress and whatever, if you don't go do what is deep down in your, you know, at that unconscious level, like what you want to do. I think like, let's just, let's just go bring it to the surface and give it a shot. And guess what, if it doesn't work out, do what Kelly said and get back and do it again. And you're going to learn, and then you're going to do it again. But don't, don't give up because that's not going to get you anywhere where you want to get going. So

Speaker 3 (42:18): I'm used to say quitters never win and winners never quit.

Speaker 2 (42:25): I love that. That's so beautiful. So last couple of questions. So the one question before I ask the final question I ask everybody is how can people get in touch with you? How can they learn more? How can they look you up? How can they get more of this fabulous wisdom? What's the best way for our listeners to connect with you.

Speaker 3 (42:42): I'm going to just be straight out. I am old school, you know what, pop me an email. You can go to my website, the how gal.com and it'll say connect, just connect. And just send me a little note. And I answer everything. If it comes through my website, I see it. I've got some helpers that help me in my business, got some admin folks, but I do see everything. I am old school. I love personal connection. So that's a great way to connect with me. You can find me on Facebook. You can find me on Instagram. I just go by my name, Kelly underscore KJB at Instagram. Those are easy ways to find me. And if you want to connect and you wanna, you wanna watch me, you know, be scared out of my widths and, and you know cringing maybe a little bit, but just doing my best and given my authentic self, I'm doing a masterclass and you can find that on Eventbrite.

Speaker 3 (43:35): It's the how Gale just look, if you Google it, you know, Eventbrite, the how Gale, and then a hundred thousand, a hundred K you'll find my masterclass. Right. That might be a great way to connect with me too. Yeah. And I thought for sure, when you're like, I'm old school, I'm like, she's going to give her phone numbers, never phone number on this podcast. Oh, you can have it. It's 6 5 1 2 8 3 8 3 3, 3. That's my cell. If you're old enough to reach out to me. Awesome. That's awesome. You send me something to cookie. I'm going to block you. I love it. I love it. We have those parameters now, but definitely check out kellyMoore@thehowgal.com and straight up, like be bold and make a connection with her. Like, you know, I mean, you never know. I think that's so fantastic. So thank you. And the last question I want to share or ask you is since this is the fast track woman, and one of the questions I like to ask is

Speaker 2 (44:31): For the women listening, who wants to be on the fast track for her business, what is the best advice you have to help her achieve that,

Speaker 3 (44:40): Get help, get help, nobody get help. Nobody makes it alone. Yeah. And it is very lonely at the top. When you get to the goal that you think you also badly want, and you're there standing all by yourself, it may not be as fun as you think, get some help to get you moving on your own fast track. Whether that's a coach, a mentor, find somebody that, you know, feeds your jam. That is, you know, that is your people and get, get some help to to get to where you want to be. I think that that is probably the best advice. And it was the advice that took me the longest to actually take, yeah. I wanted to do it on my own or figure it out myself because, you know, I thought that it made that it was, you know, a sign of weakness to ask for help. Yeah. So in 2021, I am asking for help and I hope that you will too.

Speaker 2 (45:42): Ah, beautiful. Beautiful. Yeah. There's no a badge of honor to fly solo. Cause you don't have to, and I'll tell you it's a lot more fun when you're not flying solo. And we know that for sure. So thank you so much, Kelly. That how gal truly appreciate you on today's episode. Thank you. Thanks Tara.

Speaker 1 (46:08): And there you have it. Another jam packed episode of the fast track woman podcast. Don't forget to visit terrible men.com where you can get more business tips and strategies learn how we can work together to accelerate your business success or access this podcast. Episode show notes with a full transcript and links to resources mentioned today. And if you enjoyed this podcast, I invite you to leave a review so that we can help serve more women business owners like you until next time here's to owning your time and valuing your word.

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